Comrades!

• CEO’s and commisars have more in common than you think.
• Corporate culture kills the host.
• Management builds nothing, manufactures nothing, and costs everything.
• Optimization means making people work faster for less. See Outsourcing.
• Sensitivity training exists because being polite is preferrable to paying your employees.
• The NuMale ubermensch leveraging his way to success via endless seminars often craves an empathy pantsuit. But only because he’s not allowed to wear a dress.
• As a commisar executive your core competency is building consensus on how best to disrupt the flow of funds from the productive class into your bank account.
• The politburo Corporate exists for the sole customer-centric mission of reeducation marketing to leave the consumer with a lean and mean wallet.
• At the gulag company you will build synergized ecosystems of equal parts cheap labor, propaganda marketing, and markups. This will be hailed as the pinnacle of capitalism despite getting most of your product from communist optimized countries.
• You will be celebrated as the supreme soviet captain of industry that you are. Just remember to emote. You wouldn’t want to seem cheeky about the holodomor bonus you just got. As this will only make it harder to seize the means of production get bailed out in future.

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I thought that by working blue collar I could escape all this…but alas new age incompetence has spread to something as unfuckable as putting a box on a truck.

Help me stay sauced and writing subversive poetry by donating.

Or if you prefer: leverage your money into my expense account to optimize output of literary junkfood.