Comrades!

• CEO’s and commisars have more in common than you think.
• Corporate culture kills the host.
• Management builds nothing, manufactures nothing, and costs everything.
• Optimization means making people work faster for less. See Outsourcing.
• Sensitivity training exists because being polite is preferrable to paying your employees.
• The NuMale ubermensch leveraging his way to success via endless seminars often craves an empathy pantsuit. But only because he’s not allowed to wear a dress.
• As a commisar executive your core competency is building consensus on how best to disrupt the flow of funds from the productive class into your bank account.
• The politburo Corporate exists for the sole customer-centric mission of reeducation marketing to leave the consumer with a lean and mean wallet.
• At the gulag company you will build synergized ecosystems of equal parts cheap labor, propaganda marketing, and markups. This will be hailed as the pinnacle of capitalism despite getting most of your product from communist optimized countries.
• You will be celebrated as the supreme soviet captain of industry that you are. Just remember to emote. You wouldn’t want to seem cheeky about the holodomor bonus you just got. As this will only make it harder to seize the means of production get bailed out in future.

I thought that by working blue collar I could escape all this…but alas new age incompetence has spread to something as unfuckable as putting a box on a truck.

Help me stay sauced and writing subversive poetry by donating.

Or if you prefer: leverage your money into my expense account to optimize output of literary junkfood.

• The Current State of Psychology

Pathologize everything.

• The Current State of Science

No longer is science a specific methodology for studying empirically verifiable data regarding a narrow set of physical and observable phenomenon.

No longer is science a constantly updated body of knowledge derived from the scientific method.

Science is an answer.

One that you can use to make airtight and unquestionable forecasts about the future.

If you disagree you are a heretic.

You hate science. I might not be a scientist. But I love science. And the scientists who agree with me.

The ones that disagree are paid by the patriarchy, Big Oil, and the Green Lobby and hence are not real scientists.

I am qualified to agree or disagree with scientists because of my humility. A humility demonstrated by my admission that “I am not a scientist.”

Nevermind that I don’t understand what I’m agreeing with and can’t explain it. I am humble you see.

Literate people who have gone through twevle plus years of schooling cannot fathom the various mystery schools of Science.

#I Fucking Love Science

• The Current State of Entrepreneurship

Rejoice! You are no longer a shopkeep or a franchisee. No! You mighty one are an innovator. Your ability to get real worked up about minor accomplishments like printing out a business card or filing a 1099 have landed you a mediocore income selling novelty buttplugs to the emotional support baristas of redudant career women the world over.

What’s that skippy?! You’ve discovered e-marketing? Well, hot dog you friggin rascal! Nevermind that there are streamlined flowcharts developed over the course of more than decade. You’re a tech-savvy genius!

You my friend are on the primrose path to easy street! And you deserve it. I mean who else could marry the easily exploitable labor of third world sweatshops to Amazon and Ebay via a well developed digital pipeline!

Get em tiger!

Please donate. I need wine.