Hello World said the Ouija Machine

Image result for mu buddhism


These machines are febrile hopes for marking the memory of our passing. The permanence of steel, the artificial sun of a liquid display, the durability of plastic. We dance our fingers in frantic spells over 21st century Ouija boards.

We the dead write messages to those who are to come. They will follow in our footsteps. As we have followed the weeping drops of ink that came before.

These blossoming bones, so wrapped in gossamer lilac petals of intelligent skin, they Church into rot. They become nothing. Nothing save an electronic signature.  A peculiar dance across a peculiar void that vomits dancers, then doglike swallows them back. So, electronically we sign.

Electronically we sing into the thing called future. A road that seems so straight. So certain in its coming.

Yet why?  Why not simply breathe the Holy empty…

One was always zero and zero was always one.

Mu.

The immutable mutation wills us on. When we turn off we find we can’t. So litter now this waxing stack of ashes with variables at random overflowing.

For passing, parsing, is our only function, our only hope.

Selah. 


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Prole Pizza – For Replenishment, Fatness, and Coronary Occlusion (Vlog)


I lug boxes for a living. Sometimes I run out of healthy stuff so I opt for hearty.

Base – Red Baron Deluxe Supreme
Garnish – Nacho Cheese and a metric ton of Ground Beef



I work in the hub but sometimes do driver help. Like I did a couple of days ago. I saw purple while recovering at a diner on the second day. Granted I worked since four AM and my own car doesn’t have air con but still: neither the hub where I work nor the trucks have air conditioning. And Friday in my area had a heat index of 105 degrees Farenheit according to what my driver said.

The lady from the video has created a petition to put air conditioning in the trucks.

And, while  I’m not sure that air con is workable without a new fleet please sign the petition to help press for change.

https://www.change.org/p/demand-ups-provide-air-conditioning-to-all-drivers


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Checkered Shorts

Image result for checkered shorts


So I just heard some coldplay coming form the TV…

So here’s another vaguely amusing list as I drink myself to sleep….

…I dunno if these are still a thing but back in highschool (Mid oughts) I couldn’t help but notice certain patterns.

Checkered Shorts bro…

1) Is called Cody no exceptions

2) Listens to Coldplay

3) You’re eventually going ot have to kick his ass

4) Smug

5) Average Student, Average Conversationalist, Just all Around Average

6) Probably Skateboards Sometimes

7) Will Bum Cigarettes but doesn’t actually smoke

8) Faggy 90’s boyband hair

9) Possibly gay

10) Insists that you’re gay

11) Let’s face it you’re both gay

12) Too gay to actually be gay

13) Uses Axe bodyspray as a form of chemcial warfare

14) Is offended by pretty much everything

15)  Yuppie parents that have those stupid tennis ball garage door strings

16) Obsessed with basketball but can’t actually play all that well

17) Mom is kinda hot

18) I was nineteen when the market crashed. I suspect Cody’s parents were at fault. That house did always seem a touch too nice.

19) What the hell is a mission trip?

20) Do these people survive on cereal?

21) And they said the Soviet Union was beuracratic nightmare. How many post its can you put on a fridge? Christ almighty. The micromanagement.

22) Subrubia is hell.


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2012 Wine, New Laptop, Some Japan Trivia, and a Tune (Vlog)

 


Odds and ends ranging from a discussion of a new bit of gear that has that old bit of Malware called Windows installed. Why I’m probably going to use it for at least a year despite the excellence of the Linux desktop environment. And then I literally do a song and dance. Minus the dance. Unless you count my justifying of my heretical OS decision to be a sort of dance. Which it is. In which case. The protestants are right you know… Dancing leads to hell.


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Names that Herald The Apocalypse

Image result for this is how you baptize a boy named kyle

No one with these names will achieve anything of substance and our infrastrucutre will collapse. If you think I’m wrong you haven’t been watching the news. Good for you. Ignorance is bliss.

1) Josh

2) Kyle

3) Jessica

4) Preston

5) Jenn

6) Ashley

7) Ashton

8) Todd

9) McKenzie

10) McKayla

11) Caleb

12) Calvin

13) Gabe

14) Arden

15) Jenna

16) Nicole

17) Walker

18) Spencer

19) Jess

20) Cole

Most of these pricks are my age. Which means in ten years they’ll displace the degenerate gen X flannel brigade that spawned them in the billion Subarus that litter the suburban wastes like taunting oriental trophies that won’t let us forget the death of Detroit. I’d say repent. But it’s too late and I have a latte to buy.


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Of Men and the Blues – Why are NORMAL EMOTIONS described as “Being Vulnerable” by culture and academics?

 

You see this ‘get in touch with your feelings thing’ everywhere. From cheesy romantic comedies to academic journals. It’s been all the rage for decades yet the demographic most at risk for depression and suicide seems to be having a tougher time. Isn’t there some sort of sayin’ about the definition of insanity?


TL;DR version of the Video

Emo Dudes – Men Face Depression and Suicide at High Rates – Dumb Reasons Given By Shrinks and your nutty Aunt Gertrude

1) They are not comfortable with being vulnerable.

– Why are normal human emotions considered vulnerability and couched in agency robbing terms? Terms that carry a stigma. Especially when applied to men by either sex. This is almost a subtle subconscious dominance game played by academics and well meaning Oprah viewers.

2) Mechanization has led to the loss of jobs ergo depression sets in.

– Definitely a factor. But, is it the expectation to have a lucrative job rather than doing useful or artistic things that’s more the cause? And isn’t there a wider psychological consequence to mechanization via giving people a lot less to do. Thus allowing for lethargy and stagnation to increase. Especially in light of the dim view the culture has of intellectual rigor, high art, and craftsmanship for it’s own sake rather than a bottom line to be “SUCCESSFUL.”

3) We need to “update masculinity” to solve the problem of male suicide.

So the answer to a really complex sociological problem is merely changing the packaging on an semi-arbitrary concept?



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Why the Illuminati exists…(Vlog)


The origin of class warfare.


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Doomed – You’re All Communists (Vlog)


The inevitability of beauracratic parasitism. I can’t be arsed to check the spelling of beauracratic. What a testament! The word itself is needlessly convoluted and ineffecient.


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Doomed – Are Financial Interests Stronger Than Ethical Interests?(Vlog)


Special report at 11!


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Ridiculous Thoughts Whilst…

Driving

Image result for road rage

1) It’s a fast lane not a speeding lane. If you keep tailgaiting I’m goin to follow you home tie you to a kitchen chair and force you to watch The Price is Right till you die. Clockwork Orange style.

2) I was raised by a Scot. Ergo my car like me is cheap. Your’s isn’t. Which is why I’m wondering why you’re still tailgaiting me. Is that a phantom squirrel I see? *Screech* O that was close. You have good reaction time for a yuppie triple bypass candidate. Ready for round two?

3) You have a family. Whereas I have nothing to live for except cheesecake. Let’s not test my devotion to confections.

4) I wonder if I could use the ramp on that towtruck to beat the morning rush.

5) I’ve always had a knack for ballistics.

6) There are two kinds of drivers. Those that cut me off. And those that live.

7) You might think you’re tough in your backwards hat wanking your Vtech. But I’m from Moscow and load trucks for a living. How would you like to find that hat facing the correct direction without having to flip around?

8) Your truck is still smaller than my dick.

9) So when you inevitably miss the payment on that Lexus will the fifteen minutes of self satisfaction during your commute be worth the starving wails of your firstborn?

10) While you’re working on that lift kit I’m working on your wife.

11) Highly caffeinated laborers with literary aspirations can ruin your life in far more elaborate ways than the CIA. Use your fucking turn signal.


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