Milk-Bar Clausewitzes

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The preferred beverage of those silent servants in the civilian officer corps who’ve been sending waves and waves of our men at somebody, for some reason, for generations. Godspeed gentlemen…Godspeed!

It’s been 15 years since ‘Team America World Police’ taught us the meaning of patriotism.  It’s heartening to see that the seeds of freedom it planted continue to blossom in the hearts of keyboard warriors across this brave land of ours.

Image result for team america world police fuck yeah
McNamara’s Domino Theory of War

I decided to comment on a YouTube video and received a swift bald eagle to the nuts for my communism.

Here is my shameful faux-pas: Not digging the slippery slope argument. Our involvement in the middle east often precipitates further destabilization. Saddam and Gaddafi weren’t saints but they did bring stability. I’m surprised that someone as reasonable as yourself on the Assad kerfuffle is spouting neocon foreign policy just to stick it to a wanker.

This Marxist screed must be due to my Russian origins. Forgive me I’ve had a bit too much vodka. Sure supporting military adventures all around the world while the economy stagnates might seem unwise but that’s because as a godless Bolshevik I don’t have enough faith.

Thank sweet baby Jesus, and the applepie bakin’ mammy that birthed him behind the Nashville bar, where Elvis made his first pelvic thrust into our hearts that a true patriot was around to set me on the straight and narrow: blah, blah, blah, everything is always America’s fault. Got it. How did America deserve the ’93 WTC bombing? Was that just “blowback” too? Is America always at fault for everything?

Ah…but alas surviving on canned goods for the benefit of the Politburo has stupefied me, and I can’t help but spread red propaganda from Frankfurt school luminaries like George Washington and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

nobody said america is to blame. the military industrial complex that eisenhower warned us about gets us into foreign entanglements that george washington warned us about. your idea of patriotism is unamerican, gets americans killed, and impoverishes the nation.

Dear readers…is there any hope for me. Please help….this problem seems to have even spread to Vietnam veterans….: Milk-Bar Clausewitzes, Bean Curd Napoleons

They’ve been letting Communists into the Marines since 1955…for shame….for shame…

Will no thin, dainty, pallid, soy-fed wrists twitch spasmodically into action and banish this pinko plague with banshee wails for more American blood?

Even as I type this I feel my mouse pointer hovering towards the buy button below the leather-bound copy of John Locke’s treatise on government.

It may be too late for me so…

For God’s sake save yourselves and flip on the tele!


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Catch Phrases (Poem)

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All the well wishers came by again

All the tales

Came by to sigh again

When all else fails

If there’s a dreary rain

They’ll fill your sails

With hot air again

Transported past all ails

All along the main

Yea, the well wishers came in hurricanes and hails

To explain again

That everything’s as rightas rain

Cause ya know what I’m sayin’

Of course you do

It’s all so true

These catch phrases for me and you

They’re me and you!

So don’t be blue!

O please don’t come again…

Why, o why Andrew

I’d rather have the pain again…


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Plumbing Woes

BaronVonDouchebag Esquire III
Believe it or not I was born in 1989.  But in Moscow where time and fashion goes to die.

My funky psychedelic 1977 open concept house has even funkier plumbing. A flange leak and several pinholes on the coppers went undetected long enough to rot the floor in the hallway bathroom. I’m currently staying at a hotel while insurance sends out the mitigation squad and the whole bloody floor comes out. Fortunately (thanks to Opa’s military insurance) I think we’ll be out only a couple o grand.

There’s quite a story surrounding this which I may or may not share in the near future.

This besides the ever present procrastination and the mighty UPS whip (Fedex no longer has a contract with Amazon for ground…so we now have their volume, joy) are why my posts have yet again slowed to a trickle.


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Hollow Dignity (Poem)

Image result for napoleon soldier


Wispy

Gossamer thing

I call your name

Your name is pride

How fragile thy wing

Will it lift to fame

For honor you tried

Squared away, halo effecting

Dignity’s shame

Drowned by the tide

Of all you’re neglecting

I call you by name

O hollow

Dignity’s shame

The land is fallow

You’re marching again

Honor you’ve stolen o Pride

Now one and the same you lie in grave

So shallow

You fool

You slave


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2008

Image result for baron rothschild

Is there really any reason for it?

Are there any less raw resources?

Any less technique with which to harness them?

Any serious collapse in enforceable contracts?

Why then does it collapse?

Its corpse choking the destitute and enriching the powerful.

What bizzare miseries ignorance and sloth visits upon mankind.

Twin urchins ever drawing down Dickensian mazes of convoluted preverications.

There is but one false science.

One powder laced, smoke and mirror show, whose name is economics.

Nom like nom de plume.

A false flight of fancy to add riches where none exist.

Is there any folly greater than credit?

The promise of goods made more valuable then goods that already abound?

Life then becomes a series of notes.

Exchanged by gamblers for the sheer joy of sudden fortune.

Before whom kingdoms crumble.

All for a childish game.

Oh, how the crops perish before the harvest while the locusts lounge.

The ant too became a locust for the sake of fashion.

Hopping on a will-o-the-wisp and sailing into oblivion.

Oblivious now, unprecedented amnesia, where every good is fed to promise.

Promise that no feast can make less empty.

Promise, the sacrament of economy, a rite towards Sheol.

This is why I drink.


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American Dominance Explained (Vlog)


Why America is the greatest nation on Earth. Truth delivered by an unbiased immigrant.

Fuck yea.


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Rosa Ma Rie (Poem)

Image result for yankee rose


Rosemary

Rosemary

What did you find

At the end of the sea

Was it the same

As the start

From whence we came

Destroy your heart

Rosemary

Rosemary

Drop a leaf

Change by degree

Seasons teeth

Masticate

Matters dull

Spirit liberate

From the lull

Rosemary

Rosemary

Awake by scent

By degree

The arrows bent

Forever be

My dancing blossom Rosemary

Delight’s thy bosom

Drain Nepenthe

To the source

Dregs to thee

Bitter sacred sweet set the course

For we’ve the dawn to meet

O Rose

O Rosa

O Rosa Marie


Image Credit – https://twitter.com/yankeeroseradio


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Solipsism (Poem)

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Image Credit – https://www.patheos.com/blogs/blinkyandsal/2017/11/523/solipsism-thumb/

I get tired of explaining myself

To myself

By myself

In a neverending plot

Of funhouse mirrors

The you in me

Is I

You see

The more I try

To look outside

I observe myself walk by

There is nowhere to hide

From this mystery, this curse, called I


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The Cottage – Chapter Twenty Nine – (Short Story)

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Part One | Part Two |Part Three |  Part Four |Part Five |  Part Six |Part Seven |Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen | Part Fifteen | Part Sixteen |Part Seventeen | Part Eighteen |Part Nineteen | Part Twenty | Part Twenty One | Part Twenty Two | Part Twenty Three | Part Twenty Four | Part Twenty Five | Part Twenty Six |Part Twenty Seven |Part Twenty Eight

There was a sensation of whirling, of spinning headlong blindly through ether. It felt like eternities had passed between the clap and the first glimmers of some strange purplish light.

“Holy shit it’s laser Floyd!”  Jim exclaimed facetiously.

“Are you familiar with physics?” Germain inquired.

He could hear the question but see nothing besides darkness, and the strange hazy purple glow.

“Are you familiar with physics?” Germain repeated.

“Apparently not. Unless ya drugged me.”

“There’s no need to force the lock if you’ve got a key.”

“Maybe so…”

“Just so.”

“Uhuh, and uh what the hell door did we just step through here?”

“I guess I should get more specific. Are you familiar with circuits?”

“Sure, I’ve wired a house before.”

“There are countless electromagnetic impulses. That is the universe and its operation. It is one vast eternal brain folded densely to infinity. With time and patience, one can learn to prune this synaptic garden that blossoms in perfect holy Chaos.”

“If it’s so holy…than how come you’re prunin’ it? Isn’t that kinda cocky?”

“The root of chaos is in the seeking of order. Its worship is thus inevitable. Whether I call it holy or damned it will birth and be praised by every principality.”

“So God is chaos?”

“To the untrained God is such an absurdly vast chain of causality, such a solipsistic, self-referential thing; that had religion not risen to facilitate communion, to distill the essence of the unfathomable, only angels would approach understanding.”

“That’s a pretty big word salad you served up to such a simple question.”

“What you are seeing now, is how these mountains draw and transmit celestial light from distant stars. Their pulsing is sentient and wishes to add flesh to its nerves. Seeks this with such zeal that it will have any form. Because the El are divided, it manifests as troops of grey monstrosities chittering the discord that binds them to the ground bass of the errant heart of the fallen.”

“Gnarly.”

“I am talking about a current. They will it one way. It is our duty to will it aright. You, young fool, are merely a very specific transistor that has unfortunately become indispensable to rewiring the aeon.”

Jim wasn’t really sure what all that meant.

“You see, some Angels would prefer that only they would approach understanding.”

“You’re talkin’ bout some cosmic country club?”

The old man chuckled.

“And you want me to crash their Thursday night social?”

“Yes!”

“How?”

“Go to the caves.”

There was another clap. The world returned. Everyone was in the exact same spot, making the same exact motion, as when Jim had slipped into the dark following the first.

It seemed that the old man and he, had just had a private conversation in some secret room.

“What was that purple light?”

“Well, it’s usually more blue round here, there’s no name for it really…but I’ve always called it ‘transcendental electricity.’ We all have it. We are all particles in its waveforms. As individuals and as nations…But of course the El have a stronger current…so its dramatically visible in etheric space. And even in the earth…as I’ve said…it is blue…I believe you’ve seen it. And you will…you must see it again. Go to the caves.”

“Hell no. I’m not getting my city slicker ass stuck in some hillbilly crawlspace.”

“There is no danger for you. Your blood knows the way.”

Jim shook his head.

“Don’t you want to crash the party?”

This time he cocked his head and smirked at the prospect of some good Yuppie thwartin’ possibilities. But he did not relish the idea of dying in some pitch black hole no man was meant to spelunk. Much less a tenderfooted one like him.

The old man held his gaze for a spell and then turned to stare at the fire.

Jim, a few drinks past the limit of self consciousness shifted his attention to Elsa.


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Image Credit – https://approximatefield.wordpress.com/2010/01/27/my-code-synapse-is-firing/

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reactionary (Poem)

Image result for alchemist
Img Src = “Wiener Museum” //giggity

Reacting

It’s because

God’s redacting

The impulses laws

The breathe of life

Can’t be seen

Neither willed with pentacle or even the knife

Search with your microscope for how all this has been

Seek with the telescope

Reach for the source

Till the point that straining breaks conscience rope

You’ll find the answer is to keep reacting…of course


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