SIGHT (Poem)

Ancientlibraryalex.jpg


Serious so serious
You are all so serious

Everything is lead

Mysterious yes mysterious
So mysterious and dead

Without gravity

Pomp and circumstance
How would longevity
Grace your arrogance

You call us fools

You call us clowns
We are but tools
To be herded by the fine gowns

But what if to be so serious

Is not mysterious at all
What if gravity is dangerous
And the reason for the fall

What if ouroborus was more accurate
Than you could predict

A bit less immaculate

Than an emanation of some cosmic writ

What if the serpent that feasts upon its tail
Is God’s commentary on priests who fail
To judge anterior from posterior
And spend all of their mortal days

Up their own ass far from wise Suns rays

O grim so grim is my delight
For its fun to play and tease and fuck and fight
For in the end neither might nor right makes right
There is only…there is only…there is only….

Sight
It is holy…lonely…holy…lonely…laughing….

Sight

This is nothing….

This is SIGHT

Soaring

In
Ghostly

Holy

tRite


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Spooky Procrastination – Strange dream at age Nineteen

Image result for faceless man


Permit me to indulge in exercise. I am coming to work on my main projects in a graduated fashion. I’ve always had to do a sort of calculus…where I approach the zero of the actual work. To zero in on the actual work I have to do other work if one can call it that.

Perhaps some uncharitable persons will merely term it idle wordplay. So be it. But I submit the whole literary canon of every nation across time may be termed such by persons that equivocate between polysyllabic discursions and smalltalk.

Social commentary aside the whole goal here is to recount what was a dream or perhaps not a dream. This occurred some years ago. I believe I was around 19 years of age.

My neighbor had a couple of MG convertibles. Like most of the neighbors in this particular neighborhood he and I never spoke. I’d always meant to ask about those MG’s but moved away before I ever did.

My silence was sealed by what was a dream or maybe not a dream. I awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright in my undersized bed, and felt a strong draw towards the house across the street.

I hopped off the cot and ran unshod through my front door. As I did so I became more and more angry. Frightfully angry.

I stood in front of the neighbors. Perfectly beholding the house, the accustomed constellations, and the smell of the recently cut grass. All things that made me question the unreality of this dream.

Suddenly the neighbors door opened with impossible silence. The recesses of the home were of a sort of darkness that I’d never known before. It wasn’t so much darkness as the antithesis of light. Not the absence of light…but rather its opposite.

And there on the concrete stoop stood a man. Or what I figured was a man because I could not look at his face. My neck and eyes averted despite my will. As if an instinctual dread enforced by nausea more metaphysical than intestinal had overcome me.

I shouted at the man. Though I did not know why. I knew I hated him. I knew he had no business here. I also felt guilt because somehow through some of my researches I felt that I’d drawn him here. But I did not deserve this we did not deserve this. Cold sweat broke out.

The figure approached. Though I was stepping backwards I kept shouting telling it to come on. I wanted it to follow me to my own yard. For some reason I felt that there was some sort of strength on my own grounds that would help me in some unknown fashion. I kept functioning on suggestions about things which I could only grasp through glimpsing peripheries.

I was wrong about home advantage. I was now by the wooden stairs in the car port and the thing was upon me. I was not so much scared in a mortal way, no I was defiant, but there was nothing I could do.

As the figure leaned over in the final horrid moment before I woke I beheld that it had no face at all. A sort of fertile unwelcome, malevolent darkness, overwhelmed me and tossed me back into the waking world. In the little bedroom with the green wallpaper and the fly fishing theme.

I still recall this dream or whatever it was from time to time and thought it interesting to mention. I had never heard of slenderman or any legends regarding a faceless being. The only thing I can recall as being remotely close is the cover of a Godsmack album but I hardly think that has anything to do with the matter.

Well I hope that this little story brought some joy or entertainment to that dreariest of affairs called Monday. Take care.


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ia Ra (Poem and Song)

Poem Song –

I’m the paleolithic hunter
Imagination of the sun
And I run
And I run
And I run through the air and the ether and the atmosphere

The flame you become
Tells I am near
Lonesome is a fantasy

Presence is reality

I’m the skipper of duality
The captain of each sacred Sea

Ia Ia I a RA
Ia Ia I a RA
Ia Ia I a Ra


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Some Clarifications

Ukraine crisis: Inside the Mariupol base of the ...
Now I myself am a fan of runes (for nerdy Led Zeppelin reasons) but that my friends is not progressive symbology. It’s just so damned funny to see the dementedly PC western media hype this as some sort of ‘people’s resistance.’

 

In my last vlog I talked about the conflict between Ukraine and Russia. I feel some clarifications are in order.

I decided to comment on this because as a Russian-American with Ukrainian ancestory (my great grandfather is from Kiev)  the coverage of the issue by the western press and western perceptions in general seem incredibly stupid to me. Stupid in a dangerous way.

I’m not operating under the impression that I’m going to solve anything but sitting here listening to this drivel is driving me mental.

So here is my position on this issue presented as a set of bullet points.

1) The Ukraine should be independent.

2) The Ukraine should not be used by NATO and the EU as leverage against Russia.

3) Russian and Ukrainian history is closely linked. (See Kievan Rus)

4) Countries and unions that decry nationalist and populist sentiments reflexively supporting robust Ukrainian nationalism to the point of ignoring NAZI antics (Azov Battalion etc) is really tragically hypocritical.

5) The nature of the relationship between the Ukraine and Russia is similar to that of England and Wales. These nations share similar histories, borders, and (in the case of Russia and Ukraine) very similar ethnic makeup. So when NATO puppets and opportunists stir peoples sentiments  into violence and other provocative behaviors, a military response is unfortunately necessary. Such a response is not an invasion anymore than England putting down a contingent of hypothetical Welsh ultranationalists with dreams of EU money.

6) War is dumb. War between the Ukraine and Russia is even dumber.

7) I know very little about Putin or his policies however I do not trust anything the established Western press has to say about him. This is merely a reaction to events based on my own background and understanding of the region. I am open to other interpretations except of course the insane ones being pushed by countries currently bombing and drone striking goat herds in more places than I can name.

8) I have not been back to Russia since 1998. I am a naturalized United States citizen. I am in strong favor of more or less traditional forms of Constitutional government as they have been practiced in this democratic republic. I feel that the same background (Russian/Ukrainian/Polish) that makes me feel impelled to comment on this may also be viewed by some uncharitable persons as questionable. Hence this last bullet point.

Thanks for reading.  Here is Fred Reed on the matter :

https://fredoneverything.org/lets-have-a-war-with-russia-id-rather-be-ruled-by-autistic-hamsters/


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What do you do?

Annoyed Yuppie

 

Seriously, this question…I can’t stop asking it.

What the hell do these people actually do? There is so much bright polished steel on these roads, so many folks in restaurants, so many boats towed by some V12 monstrosity. I want people to thrive and have all these things and more. But what in the name of holy Christ do they do?

I just don’t understand it. Well, I do in that it probably has a lot to do with credit but…fuck…

I’m bothered by it…by what they do…I understand jobs like Engineer, Doctor, Lawyer, Construction Guy, Cop, UPS guy…but how many of those are there in a given town….

Maybe if your entire lifestyle is based on credit and just enough post-secondary education to help land you a job you tenuously hold to repay that credit..maybe…just maybe…ya shouldn’t look so smug.

Life really is sketch comedy…


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Silence is Sterile

There’s a lot to be said for quality control. For doing our utmost to avoid lending support to something stupid or wicked.

This noble inclination is however too often twisted into silence.

Not a deep contemplative silence or even a sexy silence but good old fashioned boring silence. The kind of silence that’s sterile. The sort of silence that leads you to constantly complain or feel like complaining about being bored.

For such moments I’d suggest asking yourself the following question: How will I ever have anything interesting to say if I never say anything?

It’s a trick that works for me.

When I’m feeling perfectionist, or insecure, or just plain lazy. I remind myself that perfect trembling lethargy is really really dull and no way to make a fun Vlog and definitely no way to finish writing a novel.

Sure there’s a lot of noise out there. A lot of terrible stuff, heck you may have made some of that terrible stuff, I’ve made some terrible stuff but is it really that terrible? If you were being at least somewhat earnest in your attempt to make art or philosophy then I doubt it was all that bad.

And if it was…

If after an honest review and careful self examination you truly find yourself feeling like a waste of bandwidth….go watch a Logan Paul video.

I welcome all feedback on this sort of mini essay/blog and really anything I happen to post on this here journal. So go on, if you feel so inclined, tell me if constantly handcuffing yourself to ideas of someday being good enough to create something is proving productive.

P.S.  I couldn’t resist…spreading…the good word of Bargeld

 


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