I caught myself making this ‘Mea Culpa’ in yesterday’s video.
Considering my day job, my workouts, and my attempts at writing and learning computer science odds and ends I don’t think this is entirely accurate.
But then again it kind of is. First, because I could do all these things a lot better. And second because I still avoid boring or difficult activities even if they’re necessary.
And that I think is the way you can really tell to what degree you are lazy.
To what degree are necessary and useful things within your power to do being left undone as your finite time on this spinning bit of space debris slips away?
My self score is a solid 7/10. I should do something about it. But this wine sure is good and it would be nice to go for a stroll.
I didn’t have much reason to hang around the dawning of Atlantis. So I cleared my mind and rejoined the expedition.
“Is it elevenses already?” Sam inquired.
“Huh?”
“What’s with the teaball man?”
“Oh..uh..I just had forgotten I’d put it in my pocket.”
“That’s pretty weird my dude. Heh..say what’s in that tea braheem…?”
I actually had no idea since I’d just gotten it from a Victorian ghost. But, I did know that now was not the time to consume it.
“Maybe I’ll let you try some later. And we’ll see if you can sit with elders of the gentle race.”
I stepped off the trail and let the expedition troop past me as I deposited the item into my ruck.
Doctor Cook came up on me after a bit.
“I have been talking to Senhor Hoyt.”
“O?”
“Si, and he says that the map merely leads to another map.”
“Jesus.”
“Yes, that’s what I said. I love the jungle. I love the ruins we are seeing but…even I have my limits.”
“I think I reached mine before this party started.”
“There are many limits to be broken.” Graham muttered melodramatically.
“So Ipsissimus…” I quipped. “Where the hell are we?”
“We are a hundred some miles northeast of the true coordinates of Dead Horse Camp.”
“Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet….!” I taunted.
“We are within fifty miles of the location of the second map.”
“Please tell me that there are only two maps. Please….”
Graham merely smirked .
‘What a dick.’
“You’re not going to tell me where the second map is gonna take us are you?”
“Why do you assume I know.”
“Because you’re fucking demon possessed…”
“Am I?”
I was getting really tired of that statementesque question.
“Yep.”
“You know that they said the same thing to Jesus.”
“And Satan often dresses up like Jesus.”
“Isn’t it teatime?” Graham prodded.
“Um…” There was no way he had seen my recent acquisition. Though given all his newly acquired parlor tricks I took this as a sign that it was indeed time for elevenses.
We had been trooping since dawn and my suggestion was roundly accepted.
Graham, Cook, and I found a spot away from the expedition and sat down to tea.
The Sketch of Sam Monroe is a weird fiction thriller. Follow the adventures of five quirky Black Ops pharmacologists as they globetrot their way to the Mato Grosso jungles. Philosophy, psychedelics, and banter are infused throughout this literary comic-book.
The forest is full of embers. The humid evening hums as glowing insects flit round phosphorescent moss. My boots sink into clay setting the meter against which the owl hoots and the boar grunts. It is an ancient place the swamp.
Primeval trees with their gnarled roots stand sentinel among the mist.
Carefully I launch the kayak in the shallows. With a few laps I begin to glide into strange hours.
When one is alone with the gentle current and some black Cavendish, they begin to speak. At first it is more like a suggestion. But slowly one becomes aware of a litany of voices.
Add an hour and a drop of whiskey and soon the murmur will have an elocution.
It will tell you of all those thing to which the bright stars above have given light. Of the dust that settled and became animate. Of the dust that continues to hum.
Once in a while a Spaniard will shout taunts from the shore. Or a Congaree chief will confuse you with riddles. Sometimes a fox winks and other times the owl does your thinking.
As three hours pass it is most dangerous to slumber.
For these are the strange hours. When the hum ceases to be a procession. When the river becomes a sea.
There amidst the caresses of a thousand vespers you are nullified. The gliding trees are gliding spheres.
You may well end on dry ground. In a portion of the wood which is wholly unfamiliar. You will know you have been. But where? And more alarmingly…with whom?
1) Chocolate n Chores
2) Wine Before Bed vs Exercise Before Bed
3) Super Lazy Recall of some Japanese History I recently learned
4) I mention Bob Lazar
When looking for a flow state we immediately want to make drastic changes to our environment. Or to run to a totally different environment. Why is that?
In my teenage and early twenties years this desire manifested itself as rather unworkable visions of hoboing around the states. Living in forests. Or some remote set of cheap apartments whose antique spartan interiors would be the catalyst for lots of work.
Now approaching thirty I’ve come to view this as a form of procrastination.
That being said I don’t think this is necessarily just an adolescent phase.
Work is transformation and whether internal or external so is travel. These things are likely associated on a subconscious level. So it’s no wonder that folks of all ages crave pilgrimages of various stripes.
The idea of sequestering is not without merit. There’s a lot to be said with laying back after chopping up some fuel and watching the evening moon bob between swaying trees. It is a superb catalyst for creativity and flow states.
But for most folks camping trips are vacations. Yes, if you’re dedicated to being a crazy forest dwelling artist then it can become your life. But of course you now run the risk of the new normal. Perhaps getting over the lack of novelty is part of the art of longer journeys.
But…if that’s the case why not simply get over the lack of novelty right now and pull out that notebook?
Made this last night. Given hardware limitations it took three hours just to render two clips stuck together. Ain’t nothin spectacular just riffing on various odds and ends like: dealing with procrastination, what’s actually vulgar, and then there’s a bit of musical nonsense.
Was hoping to refine it but it was all I had time for.
I still got a more in depth look at McNamara, Shindo Renmei, and Psychology on my other channel later in the week. Thanks for watching.
This is from my informal/music YT channel which you can subscribe to here.
The Fractal Journal 