‘Don’t Data Mine Me Bro’ | Taser, Axon, Skynet? (Part One)


However faintly the frantic words ‘don’t tase me bro’ still probably echo in the popular imagination.

Subduing a nebbish university student for an uncouth question is arguably the wrong way to use a taser.

Is there a right way? Figuring that out has been the business of Taser and the various departments implementing this ‘stunning’ new tool since the companies inception.

I draw my information from Dana Goodyear’s The New Yorker article, Fred Reed’s columns, and a policing website.

I chose to cover this story column style in my online magazine because it’s one of those things with lots of intersections. Which is very ‘fractal.’

Mr. Fred Reed is a Vietnam veteran, expatriate who continues a long career of writing books, and columns from Mexico. I stumbled on his material many a year ago and have never regretted it. He is able to provide accurate insights with a caustic wit as spicy as any salsa in his new home.

Image result for fred reed mexico
Mr. Reed

He spent some time riding with people in what he terms ‘The Street Trades’ (Police, Firemen, Paramedics). Something particularly salient to the current discussion and invaluable in navigating troubled times.
I was surprised to find that officers fire their weapons far less than I thought. Police funding often proves inadequate and departments aren’t left with too much ammunition to shoot down a range. There is also the thing that if one takes the trouble to notice has always made sense.

It’s pretty surprising…I feel a tad odd writing it but..you don’t want cops to be used to combat situations. As a rule, an officer will try to avoid using his firearm. Though some troubled areas of the country may indeed be battlefields, and many officers former soldiers, the police are not soldiers. Live fire, and mortal struggle are things that they avoid. Descalation is the better part of policing.

Readiness can vary wildly from department to department each having unique degrees of perennial public sector problems of recruitment, retention, funding, and corruption.

Fred Reed enlightened me to the fact that policemen often mutter ‘I’m going home tonight.’ Going home is something we don’t think about. It is something we don’t think about because the police think about it.

I’m as far removed from hero worship and starry-eyed delusions about ‘our boys in blue’ as Mr. Reed (a tireless critic of all stripes of OO-RAH culture despite being a former Marine). This is because while the details are fuzzy and likely over-romanticized by my writer’s brain I experienced something in Moscow.

Yes, twenty-nine years ago I was born in Russia. Which is a place like any other with wonders and horrors sprinkled in whimsical arbitrary quantities throughout the land. One of the wonders is the Moscow theater one of the horrors, a commonplace among metropolises ‘fucked up cops.’

Image result for moscow theater
Typical vodka swilling statist brutalism.

So when I wax lyrically about ‘our streets are safe due to their sacrifice’ I’m not doing it from some hickish Carolina naivete.

As a boy of six or so about to descend the stairs to the subway station, I saw two strong young looking officers man handle an old woman. My mother told me to turn away. Pulling me along and muttering something about staying out of trouble with the government.

I’m absolutely certain that this is not the rule for police in Moscow or anywhere. But I do have eyewitness experience of what certainly looked like police brutality and the cultural unwillingness of bystanders to intervene. While details may be fuzzy I vividly recall this episode as being the very first time I was mad at the whole world.

More recently I witnessed the overzealous prosecution of a close friend following a domestic dispute. I am not entirely certain that the officers didn’t fib. The plaintiff lost thanks to a level-headed judge but nonetheless, I have a sufficiently nuanced experience with law enforcement to say…

It is inarguable that policing is necessary and (along with an educated populace functioning in a relatively health economy) the reason why our streets are for the most part safe, most of the time.

They are safe because the police despite their many shortcomings are an effective deterrent.

The current political climate has thrust cops from one extreme of the spectrum to the other. Rather than erring on the bumpkin’s default idolization of the police they have painted them as overwhelmingly incompetent and evil.

This is a wrongheaded and very dangerous sentiment. All I need to cite for evidence are the murders of five police officers at the Dallas Police Protest in 2016.

Portraying the police as malicious, pig-headed racists can lead to no other outcome.

Which is why it is important to present the reality.

The reality being that the police are human, they vary wildly, in creed, color, and favorite pizza topping. Yes, we should expect them to set a high ethical bar. But we can’t expect them to be superhuman.

Fred Reed asks a very good question in his column ‘Test yourself in a dark alley.’
Imagine chasing a suspect down a dark alley and he pulls something out of his pocket, or whirls about, or lunges at you. It’s dark, many departments are understaffed, you’re likely overworked and tired…this guy might be somebody over reacting to a breakup or it might be a guy with a knife, gun, hell a machete isn’t unheard of. What do you do as the adrenaline builds?

Obviously, this problem is a sad reality of life. Excessive force and deadly violence are not you see just a police problem these are human problems.

Solving these problems will prove to be as complex as the story I found in the August 27th, 2018 issue of The New Yorker.

The story (Shock to the System) is by that publications former editorial staff member and active staff writer Dana Goodyear who covered the transition of LTL manufacturer Taser into Axon. Axon is Taser 2.0 with a stated mission of becoming the ‘public safety nervous system’ via cameras, databases, and AI-powered analysis.

The tale is long multifaceted and has more rabbit trails than all of Appalachia. Which is why in order to do it justice I must turn this piece into a series and promise to publish the rest within the coming week. I have a safety audit at my day job tomorrow and need to brush up all the little acronyms and mnemonics that spell job security for that marginalia known as management. Apparently memorizing lists satisfies inspectors more than a robust series of exercises. But I digress…


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Again Again (Original Lyrics and Song Demo)


The result of a brief little jam session I was able to squeeze in last night.

I made it on the fly and just now wrote down the lyrics for those who prefer poems to songs.

DAW (i guess it’s a DAW) – Audacity (Effects – compression, equalization, reverb (or echo IDR) )

Instruments – Guitar, Violin, Vocals


Lyrics

All the puzzle pieces are such familiar places

I use them to make traces of my past

And that’s the path I walk on

In repetitious circles

I just go round and round and round

Sometimes I think that

That I have found

 A line that is straight

But I’m still on the ground

I’m still going round

 O Yea

Wait a little while with me

Wait a little while and see

The magic of a symmetry

Of 3 and 6 and 0 degree

 

Is the wine any less fine

Just because you’ve tasted it

Once more

Once more

So come on by and knock on

And knock on my old door

So come on by and let’s sit

Let’s sit on my floor

Let’s pourout all the whiskey

Pour it into dirty cups

Let’s pull out a bit of a bit of something

That we never ever ever grow weary of

All these starry thoughts

Of forever… and above…. and beyond…. and between….

In the light of the trees

And the evenings cool cool cool breeze

I am waiting waiting you are waiting waiting

Why are waiting

Why are we frustrating

When we could

Be turning round as the wheel

And to feel what is real

Is the motion of eternal

Again … again


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Fractal Radio| Episode 13 – Taser, Axon, SKYNET?


Dana Goodyear (The New Yorker) recently visited Axon, formerly Taser. I use this story as a springboard for a discussion on policing, surveillance, and citizenship.


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https://www.policeone.com/patrol-issues/articles/60959006-7-of-the-biggest-issues-facing-law-enforcement-in-2016/

Read the Reed

https://fredoneverything.org/tales-from-the-street-trades-things-you-probably-dont-want-to-know/

https://fredoneverything.org/squad-car-dreams/

https://fredoneverything.org/christmas-in-the-street-trades/

https://fredoneverything.org/test-yourself-in-a-dark-alley/

https://fredoneverything.org/my-biochemistry-made-me-do-it-confessions-of-a-genetic-subroutine/

https://fredoneverything.org/lynching-zimmerman-and-the-coming-race-war-in-america/

https://fredoneverything.org/some-things-detwaddled-cops-race-that-sort-of-tlhings/

https://fredoneverything.org/community-policing-rounds-and-around-and-back-again/

https://fredoneverything.org/racial-profiling-the-view-from-a-squad-car/

Read the Reed!

My next vlog about The New Yorker’s article regarding  LTL company Taser’s transition to the weapons, data, and analytics firm Axon is currently rendering. Given the specs of my backup system this is going to take two hours…

So in the meantime I suggest you read some thought provoking columns on ‘The Street Trades’ (Police, Fire, Paramedics) by the Author, Veteran and Columnist Fred Reed.

This is not light reading and may ruin your evening. Not because Mr. Reed isn’t roguishly funny but because he is accurate when describing rather grim situations.

As Axon would put it: ‘Expect Candor’ 

Image result for police beat fred reed
Mr. Reed’s Site (Click this.)

The following is a list of columns by Reed that I read in preparation for this week’s series.

Read the Reed!

https://fredoneverything.org/tales-from-the-street-trades-things-you-probably-dont-want-to-know/

https://fredoneverything.org/squad-car-dreams/

https://fredoneverything.org/christmas-in-the-street-trades/

https://fredoneverything.org/test-yourself-in-a-dark-alley/

https://fredoneverything.org/my-biochemistry-made-me-do-it-confessions-of-a-genetic-subroutine/

https://fredoneverything.org/lynching-zimmerman-and-the-coming-race-war-in-america/

https://fredoneverything.org/some-things-detwaddled-cops-race-that-sort-of-tlhings/

https://fredoneverything.org/community-policing-rounds-and-around-and-back-again/

https://fredoneverything.org/racial-profiling-the-view-from-a-squad-car/

 

 

The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.6 – Social Engineering

Image result for honeypot


I was really confused. The exchange that had occurred seemed too easy.

It took a long time for me to understand. I had to piece it together from murmurs and hints.

It was a jungle. It was literally a jungle. And it was also metaphorically a jungle. Unlikely alliances are common in jungles of the latter variety. As any New York deputy would attest.

Interests had converged and what I had witnessed was merely a formality. A way for both Cook and Costa to assure each other that a mutual understanding was honored.

Nothing in the conversation could implicate either man, even if they were being recorded. This thought made my spooky soul giggle. You can lodge a bug right in your target’s colon but you can’t beat good old-fashioned bullshit. A turn of phrase, nonverbal codes, a list of blasphemies for the NSA.

I think they call it social engineering. I was always annoyed by this term even though it was technically part and parcel of my job description. I guess I’m old-fashioned in my disdain for euphemisms. Social engineering is just good old fashioned bullshit.

“What do you think about lying?” I shotgunned. Hoping to catch her off guard mid stretch.

She dropped on her back from the edge of the bed where she was sitting. Rolling over on her stomach and shimmying on top of me her lips found mine. Our tongues met and then suddenly I felt a slight pain. She’d bitten my tongue…

It was blessedly brief. In just over a second she’d shot up and giggled.

“What kind of question is that…you have asked…have you lied to me…I will bite off…off the tongue…”

My fears were somewhat allayed. There had been none of that tell-tale stiffening. One would think that a well-known ‘out’ for a honeypot would be ineffective and thus you’d have to find a new one. But actually familiarity made a reaction harder to mask.

Though I was still suspicious. This sudden tryst had gone a touch too smoothly. I’m not a putz but I’m no Casanova. I’m far too analytical to be a lady-killer.

“It was a test.”

“O…a tehhhst…well so what position are you to test me…” Her obtuse nordic indignation was more Swedish than Finnish.

Which was opportune since she basically handed me the keys to the mansion of sophomoric wordplay.

“How about sideways…let’s gauge structural integrity…”

‘Ewww…’ I was grossed out by my awkward banter but she didn’t seem to notice and I quickly remedied the chance of a spoiled moment with sheer physicality.

We went on for a few more rounds.

“There it was.” She said.

I turned my head to look into her eyes and raised a brow in question.

“You looked at me like you look at her… You were so hungry …but she does not get you…she always gets the fun…”

And it all made sense. It was a repeat of my last romance. Accidental jealousy. A surprisingly effective aphrodisiac.

Still…I was paranoid.

Like with the pow-wow full enlightenment would take some days.

It seemed that Anna, the dirty blonde doing her doctoral dissertation was Aada’s sister. I mean I knew that. They were both Finnish, treating each other with the sort of disinterested familiarity that was more common among families rather than friends. Years ago Saara had taught me some basics which in Brazil coming from an American was I guess…’sexy.’ Or probably just nice.

Anyway, I’d taken no care to mask my lust. I was undoubtedly a touch wild-eyed. Not that it was the least bit surprising considering how rarely female presence and how even more rarely female attention graced us these past couple of years.

Aada had smiled quietly in the corner. And though I favored her reddish blonde head to the more typical indecisiveness of Anna’s. Anna seemed absolutely taken with me. Which to a lonely man was like finding water in the desert.

But nothing had come of the exchange. She left abruptly after receiving a text. I did note that Aada had turned to look at me one last time before they exited Cook’s sitting room.

She was asleep now. I kissed the top of that auburn celebration that so reminded of New England autumn’s at my uncle’s cabin. Scarcely knowing the annoying secret that lay beneath those locks.



Part I – Kentucky Door

1.1 (Intro) The Sketch of Sam Monroe

1.2 The Cajun Prayer

1.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter One: The Cambridge Gable Scene (‘Gator is Waitin’)

1.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.4 – The Cambridge Gable Scene – (Horticulture)

1.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.5: ‘To Luckadoo Cove’

1.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.6 – ‘Is there anybody out there…’

1.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.7: ‘Jesse’

1.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.8: ‘Lungful of Bees’

1.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.9 – ‘Precedent’

2.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.0 -Calvinist Neuroses

2.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.1 – Mirage

2.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.2 – Estate Planning

2.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.3 – High Tech Summons

2.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.4 – Amazon Stonehenge

2.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.5 – Jung

2.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.6 – Dee

2.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.7 – Meeting 211

2.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.8 – Itinerary

2.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.9 – Fact and Fiction

2.10 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.10 -Kaffeeklatsch

2.11 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.11 – Catnap

2.12 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.12 – ‘One Pair’

2.13 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.13 – Reentry

2.14 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.14 – Phoenix

2.15 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.15 – Apollo and Dionysus

3.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.0 – Inherit the Wind

3.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.1 – Stardust

3.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.2 – Loyola

3.3 Chapter 3.3 – High and Dry

3.4 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.4 – One DreamSketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.9 – Thera_

3.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.5 – Pensive

3.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.6 – Feijoada

3.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.7 – ‘Good food and good work…’

3.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.8 – A Good Egg

3.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.9 – Oregon Hill

3.10 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.10 – ‘Thick Bushes’

4.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.0 – No room at the Inn

4.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.1 – The Union Jack

4.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.2 – The Genevive

4.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.3 – Ecclesiastes 1:18

4.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.4 – Bleached

4.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.5 – Marty

4.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.6 – Highland Deep

4.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.7 – Sunshine

4.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.8 – What is it?

4.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.9 – Thera

4.10 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.10 – Father Crespi

4.11 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.11 – Why this?

Part II – The Wizard’s Nod

5.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.0 – Thurible

5.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.1 – Parlour Tricks

5.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.2 – Tropical Brutalism

5.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.3 – The Dreamers in the Wood

5.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.4 – Les Goddams

The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.5 – Lobo

5.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.6 – Madonna

5.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.7 – Basic 2.0

5.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.8 – The Least Dangerous Game

5.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.9 – Bichanos

5.10 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.10 – Extreme Parsimony

5.11 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.11 – Gut to Guts

6.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.0 -Silent Chocolate (Celestial Shoes)

6.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.1 – Of Boffins and ShamansThe Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.4 – Those Who Come in Silence_

6.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.2 – Diplomacy

6.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.3 – Noble Savage

6.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.4 – Those Who Come in Silence

6.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.5 – Malfeasance


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Fractal Radio | Episode 12 – Public Safety Nervous System?


A brief overview of some grim realities of the street trades and one companies proposed solution to violence.

The connection between Mr. Reed’s points and The New Yorker article by Mr. Goodyear will become more apparent in later videos.

Apologies for the ‘minimalist’ approach today but I’m pressed for time.


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Athena’s Embrace in which Divisions Desolve (Poem, Experimental)

Image result for cossack sword

I have to guard the sacred fire

To teach the world to dance

I’m here to tell you that there’s a difference

It’s not all the same

I’m here to show you how to call things by their proper name

There is a proper name

That there is

There is a proper name

I have to guard the sacred fire

To teach the world to dance

I’m here to tell you that there’s a difference

She said…

Bare feet traversed the marble tile. As checkered and cold as the gaze of the traveler. Upon her brow a laurel within her grasp a blade.

I stood regarding. Calm descended for I was master of my flesh. This specter though fearsome fair would not cow me nor stay my stride toward father sun.

“I have stripped hair from my skull, I have dug tendrils from my rib, I have sung to vultures, and feasted on want. Woman, wisdom, I owe you not a shred of obeisance. You speak of fire and you see I am already charred. Now step aside and drop your mother’s pretense for I am no child.”

She laughed a silent laugh but loudly so loudly from each eye.

“Your tongue bleeds war. Scarcely have you been weaned o babe of the abyss. Cling now homeward for Hades weeps for its child.”

“I shall pass to drink and dance with shimmering joys, to bespeckle the sky with guide, and wonder. You speak of names, you speak of truth, so what pray tell is yours?”

A thin smile spread over the desolate beauty of ice.

A bird of night winged down between us. Within its talons a parchment.

The slowest hint of nod.

I unfurled the feathered couriers gift.

“Though art the way?”

Having read I looked in question.

The answer was the hilt of sword.

I knew. I knew and I plunged the testament within my breast.

She held me and I held her.

And the boundary nullified…dissolved…division…

And so I sang

That there is

There is a proper name

There is There is There is


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Fractal Radio| Episode 11 – Tim Berners-Lee, Solid, and the Future of the Internet

 


I review and discuss an article in Vanity Fair about internet luminary Tim Berners-Lee. Who according to livescience.com is responsible for HTML and as far as I understand, the general outline and process of WWW as we know it.

He has always favored decentralization and fears that human rights are threatened by unethical implementations of the technology he helped foster. I discuss some of these issues and his proposed solutions.


Sources

Vanity Fair (Katrina Brookers, August 2018)

https://www.livescience.com/20727-internet-history.html

http://articles.latimes.com/2012/jul/23/news/la-mo-who-invented-internet-20120723


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Saturday Morning Musings – Is ‘Pitch Culture’ gonna improve Novels?

Image result for sales pitch


Saturdays often find me gathering strength for the coming week.  They are often as productive as any other day but their charm lies in that they don’t have to be.

So I sit here giving my eyes a rest, nearly blind without my contacts, perusing Vanity Fair. I come across an article discussing a zeitgeist shift of ‘serious writers’ ceasing to shun Television writing. Opting instead to embrace it and taking TV shows they watch ‘very seriously.’

Image result for vanity fair novel ambitions
(Novel Ambitions by Joy Press | Vanity Fair – August 2018)

 

I did not put ‘serious writers’ in snark quotes for any elitist reason. I am huge Michael Crichton fan and have always (when it’s done right) understood both the big and small screen as rich and valid mediums.

I put serious writers in quotes because the term confuses me. I feel that anyone who takes the trouble to write is a serious writer. Perhaps the piece was using the language to highlight the fact that accomplished writers (whose work is expressive of the sort of nuance that one associates with those who appreciate literary art) were no longer shunning an industry pariah.

Which is fine but I can’t help but fiddle the hilt of my sword. I am on guard for the king called disinterest and his prince ‘l’art pour l’art.’ A position that I feel is increasingly rare. When I hear ‘serious this or that pursuit’ these days I am wont to think that ‘serious’ means commercially viable.

I am decidedly steeped in Classicism as I’ve come to understand it. I do not mean by this any restrictive form but rather a mindset. A mindset tracing its roots back to the ancient city states of Greece where merchants were shunned.

The commercialization of science and art is a decades old story. It is a story too broad and important for this uncharacteristically cool Carolina morning. Books will be written about it for decades. The purpose of this wee essay is to serve as reminder that every fertile thing that elevated civilization is now being processed into quick, unnaturally tasty, canned goods.

Classicism is important because even if you choose Spam over a ribeye the makers of Spam should still try to make it taste like a ribeye. (Folks privy to the differences between the pop music of the 60’s and 70’s and the pop music of today will more readily understand this analogy.)

The Vanity Fair article is an excellent springboard for thrusting the Classic outlook back into the collective conscience. It’s a rich little morsel that raises all sorts of questions.

Questions like the namesake of this article: “Is ‘pitch culture’ gonna improve novels?”

If ‘serious writers’ are being funneled from the world of the novel into the world of the sitcom as the authoress suggests then what does this mean for novels?

I do not necessarily think it means anything foul. The pithier more economic approach of television writing is certainly good to have and maintain in one’s literary tool belt. And I do enjoy a good show so the presence of ‘serious writers’ means that I will have a richer life.

But, even if these pros I’ve highlighted existed without their shadow cons then one must still remember the ground bass of classicism. That little voice that says, “Is the greatest number, the greatest good?”

Paradoxically, I think that history attests to the fact that the greatest good, for the greatest number is meted out by that little voice. A voice that is often too modest and too much of a minority.

avoiding the cons of ‘Pitch Culture’ means giving ear to that voice.

What do I mean by pitch culture? To those unfamiliar with marketing a pitch is a proposal. It’s putting forward an idea that’s likely to get people hooked to a guy in the business of making money getting people hooked. And getting the guy to think that the idea will get people hooked. With so many hooks you can see how quickly the process gets crooked.

The obvious problem here is the difficulty of making something as inherently subjective as art as objective as a studios bottom line. This is an art in itself that I don’t necessarily disdain, I just think it like any market requires ethics and oversight.

You don’t want metrics, things that in themselves are fraught with the chaotic problem domain of social statistics, to become the cookie cutter for your artistic treats.

The article argues that today due to the presence of serious writers this cookie cutter approach is rarer. I do see some evidence for this but that evidence is of course shows that I happen to find engaging and is thus suspect.

That being said I feel that many shows are not so much abdicating the cookie cutter but simply using a cookie cutter that tries really hard to not seem like a cookie cutter.

Bill Hick’s classic bit on marketing where he mimics a sales panels thoughts ‘o you see what he did there, he’s going for the anti-marketing dollar, that’s really smart – the anti-marketing dollar is huge.’ (Not an exact quote) This impression is exactly what I’m talking about with the ‘anti cookie cutter cookie cutter’.

Everytime I hear words like ‘groundbreaking, raw, gritty, etc’ I immediately encounter a funny sensation. It’s a dull sort of malaise that settles over my mind as I picture a litany of industry standards like ‘Dr. House accepting his lesbian daughter while taking potshots at corporations and Jesus as he fights off zombies that put him face to face with the surprisingly violent nature of average people in a shitty situation.’ This is the cookie cutter that I call ‘shit just got real.

South Park did a really great bit that highlights the overindulgence of shocking realities when the character Butters tires of ‘all the gay weiners’ in Game of Thrones.

A pretty standard line of advice for any profession is that ‘you have to know the rules before you can break them.’

I think that the lack of a strong reading culture makes audiences particularly susceptible to cheap tricks. And if serious writers are going to revolutionize an industry known for cheap tricks they’d better be careful when catering to the whims of that audience and the farmers at Madison Avenue.


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The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.5 – Malfeasance

Image result for cardinal richelieu


Stealth had failed Dr. Cook. There is as much corruption in Brazil as anywhere and there are plenty of travel restrictions even for esteemed scientists. He had wanted to circumvent these. Some of the limits on passage were absolutely ludicrous and had more to do with guarding smuggler’s routes than anything approaching legitimacy.

But he was not cautious enough and the forces of pillage, rapine, and court intrigue would soon have caught up with him had he not failed in placating our yesternights marauders. In fact, that incident attested to the benevolent force of luck which seemed to follow me everywhere.

By all rights, I should be dead many times over. But that is a story for another time. For now, we sit again at the Jewel of Cuiaba with Cook’s niece the fetching Maria. The fading sunlight dapples with utmost play upon her tan and silky shoulders. I was fiercely horny, having seen nothing but jungle, sweat, and sweaty men for a fortnight and a spell. It reminded me of Citadel nights when we’d be allowed to mix with the women. But unlike those times I could not act.

There set that French fuck. A charming enough fellow, intelligent and all, but possessing that Gallic air, a certain carriage that stirred violence within my heart. I do so hate the French and lust most heartily to reacquaint them with their own foul concept of Coup d Grace. Insufferable prick I could snuff out his miserable life and take this little minx for myself. Weak degenerate, academic, shit…Look at her on display as if on a desert roof and I a David and he a French fuck. He turned and smiled his crooked condescending smile and I laughed internally at my primordial violence. No woman is worth the death of even the vilest of men. Not that women are bad. They are just no better than men. Chimps we are the whole sodding lot. Helen is a whore. But I stray…

As we stuffed ourselves with Fejoida and dishes the names of which I cannot recall for the sake of sheer variety. Delicious all, especially so, for our esteemed guest, some G-man betitled Costa. Dr. Cook attempted to extract a travel permit of sorts while the girl lavished the official with drink and feminine viles. Many a stray touch occurred. And this was the reason for Adrien’s grin.

It could not have been pleasant to watch a lover stoke a strangers flame. But he was French after all and seemed to be fine, amused even. Fatalistic frog…typical cynic..blase shit….

I nearly retched upon remembering the vile vile taste of Onion Soup. But the chief portion of our repast was over and as we awaited dessert, Dr. Cook pulled Hoyt’s map from a protective sleeve that he withdrew from a briefcase.

“You have of course heard the rumors?”

“Si.” Senhor Costa laughed turning red a color that mixed oddly with his deeply tanned face. “Is this what you are after! Hah, well if it’s really there, I guess it would be somewhere there between the Xingu and the other branch. But you will die long before you arrive. And for what ghosts? Stories from superstitious fools.”

“But look at the parchment. Is it not authentic. Do you not smell Carvajal?”

“I smell folly.”

“Fine, I am not asking you to believe in the city but you have seen yourself, the ditches, the canals, the traces of road, the black earth. This could be the key to unlocking it all. Myths are not always unfounded you know.”

“Dr. Cook you are an intelligent man. One of the finest minds of Brazil. If I allowed you to venture with these Indians, boys, and mercenaries that deep I would kill you. Then what will they say about me. My wife will hate me even more than if I was stupid enough to fall for your nieces’s flirting.” He said as he smacked away Maria’s hand.

I gained considerable respect for the balding bespectacled beuracrat in that moment.

“No one will know Senhor Costa. It will all seem as if we bribed the Red Hand.”

Costa shook his head and threw up his hands.

“Fine, doctor if you want to die if you want to kill these brancos. You have my blessing.”


Part I – Kentucky Door

1.1 (Intro) The Sketch of Sam Monroe

1.2 The Cajun Prayer

1.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter One: The Cambridge Gable Scene (‘Gator is Waitin’)

1.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.4 – The Cambridge Gable Scene – (Horticulture)

1.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.5: ‘To Luckadoo Cove’

1.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.6 – ‘Is there anybody out there…’

1.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.7: ‘Jesse’

1.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.8: ‘Lungful of Bees’

1.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 1.9 – ‘Precedent’

2.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.0 -Calvinist Neuroses

2.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.1 – Mirage

2.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.2 – Estate Planning

2.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.3 – High Tech Summons

2.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.4 – Amazon Stonehenge

2.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.5 – Jung

2.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.6 – Dee

2.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.7 – Meeting 211

2.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.8 – Itinerary

2.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.9 – Fact and Fiction

2.10 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.10 -Kaffeeklatsch

2.11 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.11 – Catnap

2.12 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.12 – ‘One Pair’

2.13 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.13 – Reentry

2.14 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.14 – Phoenix

2.15 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 2.15 – Apollo and Dionysus

3.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.0 – Inherit the Wind

3.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.1 – Stardust

3.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.2 – Loyola

3.3 Chapter 3.3 – High and Dry

3.4 Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.4 – One DreamSketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.9 – Thera_

3.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.5 – Pensive

3.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.6 – Feijoada

3.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.7 – ‘Good food and good work…’

3.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.8 – A Good Egg

3.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.9 – Oregon Hill

3.10 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 3.10 – ‘Thick Bushes’

4.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.0 – No room at the Inn

4.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.1 – The Union Jack

4.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.2 – The Genevive

4.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.3 – Ecclesiastes 1:18

4.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.4 – Bleached

4.5 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.5 – Marty

4.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.6 – Highland Deep

4.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.7 – Sunshine

4.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.8 – What is it?

4.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.9 – Thera

4.10 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.10 – Father Crespi

4.11 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 4.11 – Why this?

Part II – The Wizard’s Nod

5.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.0 – Thurible

5.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.1 – Parlour Tricks

5.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.2 – Tropical Brutalism

5.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.3 – The Dreamers in the Wood

5.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.4 – Les Goddams

The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.5 – Lobo

5.6 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.6 – Madonna

5.7 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.7 – Basic 2.0

5.8 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.8 – The Least Dangerous Game

5.9 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.9 – Bichanos

5.10 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.10 – Extreme Parsimony

5.11 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 5.11 – Gut to Guts

6.0 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.0 -Silent Chocolate (Celestial Shoes)

6.1 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.1 – Of Boffins and ShamansThe Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.4 – Those Who Come in Silence_

6.2 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.2 – Diplomacy

6.3 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.3 – Noble Savage

6.4 The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 6.4 – Those Who Come in Silence


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