Tag: Comedy

Checkered Shorts

On By Alex V. WeirIn Alex Weir, Humor, Social Commentary, The Fractal Journal, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Image result for checkered shorts

So I just heard some coldplay coming form the TV…

So here’s another vaguely amusing list as I drink myself to sleep….

…I dunno if these are still a thing but back in highschool (Mid oughts) I couldn’t help but notice certain patterns.

Checkered Shorts bro…

1) Is called Cody no exceptions

2) Listens to Coldplay

3) You’re eventually going ot have to kick his ass

4) Smug

5) Average Student, Average Conversationalist, Just all Around Average

6) Probably Skateboards Sometimes

7) Will Bum Cigarettes but doesn’t actually smoke

8) Faggy 90’s boyband hair

9) Possibly gay

10) Insists that you’re gay

11) Let’s face it you’re both gay

12) Too gay to actually be gay

13) Uses Axe bodyspray as a form of chemcial warfare

14) Is offended by pretty much everything

15)  Yuppie parents that have those stupid tennis ball garage door strings

16) Obsessed with basketball but can’t actually play all that well

17) Mom is kinda hot

18) I was nineteen when the market crashed. I suspect Cody’s parents were at fault. That house did always seem a touch too nice.

19) What the hell is a mission trip?

20) Do these people survive on cereal?

21) And they said the Soviet Union was beuracratic nightmare. How many post its can you put on a fridge? Christ almighty. The micromanagement.

22) Subrubia is hell.

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Weird Weir’s Guide to Stoner Rock

On By Alex V. WeirIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

 

I’m bored, and tired, and avoiding research…so I’m listening to Stoned Meadow of Doom…which…ok I’m gonna…I gotta…here we gooooo………….!

  1. Vaguely Ominous Geometric Patterns
  2. Words like silent, luminous, orb, pillars, equinox
  3. Slide guitar, pentatonic scales, microtones
  4. Wear a fez
  5. Solemnly mutter adjective heavy things
  6. Robes
  7. Skeletons or skulls or both!
  8. Egypt lots of Egypt
  9. Neopaganesque nude women cause fertility or something
  10. Witch…say witch or talk about witches especially if the witches smoke ganja
  11. Subtly hint a greater awareness than the average sober meatpuppet. You are afterall in the great traditions of shamans because you read a couple of McKenna essays and have a rad tikiman bowl from the headshop
  12. You are the Ipssimuss no question
  13. Chant like a monk that got lost on a tour of world religions
  14. Echo effects mean mystery
  15. Say consciousness a lot
  16. Plagiarize the Doors the more often the better
  17. You know what Vietnam was like you’re a stoner band it doesn’t matter if the oldest guy was born in 1992. You ARE WOODSTOCK plus Satan because Satan is edgy and knows magic that involves a lot of complicated geometric patterns that help compensate for you micropenis. Micropenis Macrocosm is a great stoner band name.
  18. OM!
With these easy steps you too can be a bog lord. Bog Lord is a great name for you stoner band.

Post. Grunge. Punks. (Webcomic) – Harshey’s! (hypothetical fatty)

On By Alex V. WeirIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

PGP - Joey and Al - Hypothetical Fatty Take Two SB1

As a former smoker and nebbish reader of medical literature long ago in a land far away, where I fancied becoming a neurologist…

I must say that I do not condone it.

Medical School is terrible and produces self-important shills for the pharmaceutical…o that’s another post (and seriously go to Med School – unless you don’t want to) but yes…. Smoking is bad. Tres bad. You’ll feel like you’re drowning as you die after just one fag and you’ll smell like garbage too! After just one fag! Seriously though despite the hyperbolic anti-smoking propoganda’s silliness…SMOKING IS BAD…Quit…don’t start…

That nebbish guilt subdued…

A couple of beers though. That’s vital. That vitamin B!

Jobs, motivation, and cartoon squirrels.

On By Alex V. WeirIn Philosophy, Psychology, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I’m fond of the Foamy series which I’ve been watching since I was a teenager. I find that this episode I just stumbled across fits really well with the theme of some of my recent posts.

There’s sometimes a bit of language and risque stuff in these cartoons so be forewarned.

 

The idea of working hard for yourself rather than a company that doesn’t treat you right is one I’m on board with. But as I pointed out in my post on loving uncertainty you have to temper that feel good notion of entrepreneurship with realism, diligence, and flexibility.

Hope this was fun, helpful, and cathartic cause that’s the intent.

Cheers.

PGP – Joey and Al – Thrift (Webcomic)

On By Alex V. WeirIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I like to doodle while I listen to podcasts in the morning. I definitely had a hiatus with doing that for a bit so it’s kind of messy at the moment. I draw in the Blitz style I learned from a book I picked up around 2006 when there were still bookstores.

PGP is an acronym for Post Grunge Punks. I actually am not a huge fan of the genre but feel that it places my age group and mentality in proper chrono-phenomenological (yes i am that pretentious) order.

Thrift shopping at places like Goodwill is popular in the states among trendies and this is loosely based on an experience I had. I feel that comics are a great medium for getting across skit style points. Hope you enjoy. And Happy New Year!

PGP - Joey and Al - Thrift

PGP - Joey and Al - Thrift SB2

PGP - Joey and Al - Thrift SB3

PGP - Joey and Al - Thrift SB4

The script for those who couldn’t read my caffeinated chicken scratch:

Alan: The Chavs need this Joey.

Joey: Buhh…I want it what are Chavs?

Alan: What are you gonna do with a mid 90’s toaster, commune with Thom Yorke via breakfast.

Joey: I want that toaster Alan and…what? Chezz?

Alan: I guess I fell asleep watching Top Gear again.

Joey: Yea BBC America was on when I came in.

Alan: How drunk was I?

Joey: No Nookie… and you kept talking about the anglo-zionist conspiracy.

Alan: I was David Icke drunk…shit….

Joey: Dude I never know what you’re talking about…Why should the chaffs get my toaster?

Alan: Because you’re a daddies money arts student and I’m a first generation immigrant living a Bohemian lifestyle you’re middle class and I would be too if I cared to castrate myself.

Joey: What?

Alan: We don’t need this junk! Chavs need this junk your mom gave you a toaster and bought your books, this is the only toaster Chavs can afford.

Joey: But it’s cute! And beige! And has the little chrome strip and I want it. The chaffs can get their own! What are Chaffzzz anyway….!

Alan: Chaffs are people who like soccer, boozing, swearing, and have low future time orientation!

Joey: I like soccer and booze! Orientation… are chavs gay? You shouldn’t pick on people Alan…my professor…

Alan: Looks at Joeys shirt and his face is lit by a brooding realization.

Joey: What….don’t look at me like that Alan!

Alan: “Nevermind” Said hurriedly as he hands her the toaster.

Joey: I’m so confused…

Thoughtbubble: Oh shit I’m dating an east ender.