Demons Hate Citrus

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Satan’s Greatest Enemy

According to a dream I had last night: the way to defeat freaky pale ghost bitches that crawl out from where the walls meet the floor is to squeeze an orange on the cunts.

Me and my mates slayed hundreds of them with Florida fresh goodness in my mind theater just hours ago.

These are the visions that kept me out of the really good schools.


Help me stock up on vitamin C rich ammo!

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Funny Dreams

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I really don’t recall the exact progression but it did feature an old flame. Someone who is very often forgotten behind a veil of things that actually matter. She’s a tall girl of my own blood. That is she is Slavic though there is some unfortunate Anglo-Celtic admixture. You must excuse me. I’ve grown a touch xenophobic with all the naked hatred of my kin alive in your Western media.

The purpose of this post is of course the escapism of dreams. So I should perhaps stray from the wearying prosaicness of bigotry.

We were in some hall. Which was very reminiscent of some old rail stations I had frequented as a boy. There was some commotion among familiar faces and much in the way of banter.

I approached a figure in riding attire. And immediately recognized her gangly frame and large liquid eyes. The autumnal hair and vacant expression is unmistakable.

I approached with a smirk, “Why are you dressed like a dyke?”

Funny how the flavor of the waking world works itself into more permanent realms…


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Spooky Procrastination – Strange dream at age Nineteen

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Permit me to indulge in exercise. I am coming to work on my main projects in a graduated fashion. I’ve always had to do a sort of calculus…where I approach the zero of the actual work. To zero in on the actual work I have to do other work if one can call it that.

Perhaps some uncharitable persons will merely term it idle wordplay. So be it. But I submit the whole literary canon of every nation across time may be termed such by persons that equivocate between polysyllabic discursions and smalltalk.

Social commentary aside the whole goal here is to recount what was a dream or perhaps not a dream. This occurred some years ago. I believe I was around 19 years of age.

My neighbor had a couple of MG convertibles. Like most of the neighbors in this particular neighborhood he and I never spoke. I’d always meant to ask about those MG’s but moved away before I ever did.

My silence was sealed by what was a dream or maybe not a dream. I awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright in my undersized bed, and felt a strong draw towards the house across the street.

I hopped off the cot and ran unshod through my front door. As I did so I became more and more angry. Frightfully angry.

I stood in front of the neighbors. Perfectly beholding the house, the accustomed constellations, and the smell of the recently cut grass. All things that made me question the unreality of this dream.

Suddenly the neighbors door opened with impossible silence. The recesses of the home were of a sort of darkness that I’d never known before. It wasn’t so much darkness as the antithesis of light. Not the absence of light…but rather its opposite.

And there on the concrete stoop stood a man. Or what I figured was a man because I could not look at his face. My neck and eyes averted despite my will. As if an instinctual dread enforced by nausea more metaphysical than intestinal had overcome me.

I shouted at the man. Though I did not know why. I knew I hated him. I knew he had no business here. I also felt guilt because somehow through some of my researches I felt that I’d drawn him here. But I did not deserve this we did not deserve this. Cold sweat broke out.

The figure approached. Though I was stepping backwards I kept shouting telling it to come on. I wanted it to follow me to my own yard. For some reason I felt that there was some sort of strength on my own grounds that would help me in some unknown fashion. I kept functioning on suggestions about things which I could only grasp through glimpsing peripheries.

I was wrong about home advantage. I was now by the wooden stairs in the car port and the thing was upon me. I was not so much scared in a mortal way, no I was defiant, but there was nothing I could do.

As the figure leaned over in the final horrid moment before I woke I beheld that it had no face at all. A sort of fertile unwelcome, malevolent darkness, overwhelmed me and tossed me back into the waking world. In the little bedroom with the green wallpaper and the fly fishing theme.

I still recall this dream or whatever it was from time to time and thought it interesting to mention. I had never heard of slenderman or any legends regarding a faceless being. The only thing I can recall as being remotely close is the cover of a Godsmack album but I hardly think that has anything to do with the matter.

Well I hope that this little story brought some joy or entertainment to that dreariest of affairs called Monday. Take care.


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Drowning Jones

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I threw him into the Thames.

This dream followed the outline of several others occurring some years apart.

Sort of English themed, in an industrial setting, seeming to be round 1860’s.

Could be cause of all the Doyle I’ve read over the years or my guardian’s furniture.

On Friday I’d caught up with an old high school buddy over billiards.

We’d done some reminiscing about the early 2000’s.

I work a very early shift and had stayed awake for quite a while so my mind was ripe for influence.

The following night I dreamt yet another strange English dream.

Sort of dusky, and dirty, and sepia all of its own accord, in feel, in substance. Just like the one before where the strange tramp in the crumpled top hat led me and an odd brigade of riff-raff up the side of some brutalist structure pausing only once to show me a severed thumb in a jar full of a sick yellowish liquid. The sun hung midway in the sky obscured by smog.
In this Iteration of what I’ve come to term ‘Victorian Hellscape,’ I was on an inky dock with several folk only some of whom were familiar. For some reason, I was very aware that this was London, that this dock beneath an embankment was, in fact, an access to the Thames. The murky grey water passed by in a thick sort of way under the wan light of the moon.

The strangers around whispered to one another. Yet there was one among them who I recognized. The last name I give is the real last name of the man in question but it is so common that giving it is of no consequence to privacy.

His name is Jones. He is lanky and tall with eyes like emeralds framed in lids that seemed to always be adjusted for haughtiness. I didn’t have much against him. And I found it odd that he appeared near me in this place.

The whole atmosphere, the whispering of the strangers, my own senses, we were all anticipating something.

Finally, I could take it no longer. I gripped Jones firmly by the arms and raised him off his feet. An awkward feat considering the ratio of our respective heights. Having gotten the Ichabod’s feet over the water line I thrust downward with all the force that I could muster. He disappeared beneath the murky polluted soup in an instant with nary a bubble to attest to his passage. The water was placid, moving thick and slow in the wan light of the moon, its surface like a sick and grimy mirror.

I waited but there was no sign of Jones.

“He’s going to die!” A strong hand gripped me by the shoulder. “He’s going to die, if he hasn’t already!”

I considered and lingered in indecision. I did not want to swim in that! But there was the pressure of my conscious and of the pleas of the crowd and I dove in.

I felt the current, I tasted filth, and I swam against its onslaught in vertical fashion attempting to descend as much as I could. But the current kept bring me up.

After some moments I realized that Jones was dead.

Then I woke up.


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Industrial Hellscape