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It’s been 15 years since ‘Team America World Police’ taught us the meaning of patriotism.  It’s heartening to see that the seeds of freedom it planted continue to blossom in the hearts of keyboard warriors across this brave land of ours.

I decided to comment on a YouTube video and received a swift bald eagle to the nuts for my communism.

Here is my shameful faux-pas: Not digging the slippery slope argument. Our involvement in the middle east often precipitates further destabilization. Saddam and Gaddafi weren’t saints but they did bring stability. I’m surprised that someone as reasonable as yourself on the Assad kerfuffle is spouting neocon foreign policy just to stick it to a wanker.

This Marxist screed must be due to my Russian origins. Forgive me I’ve had a bit too much vodka. Sure supporting military adventures all around the world while the economy stagnates might seem unwise but that’s because as a godless Bolshevik I don’t have enough faith.

Thank sweet baby Jesus, and the applepie bakin’ mammy that birthed him behind the Nashville bar, where Elvis made his first pelvic thrust into our hearts that a true patriot was around to set me on the straight and narrow: blah, blah, blah, everything is always America’s fault. Got it. How did America deserve the ’93 WTC bombing? Was that just “blowback” too? Is America always at fault for everything?

Ah…but alas surviving on canned goods for the benefit of the Politburo has stupefied me, and I can’t help but spread red propaganda from Frankfurt school luminaries like George Washington and Dwight D. Eisenhower.

nobody said america is to blame. the military industrial complex that eisenhower warned us about gets us into foreign entanglements that george washington warned us about. your idea of patriotism is unamerican, gets americans killed, and impoverishes the nation.

Dear readers…is there any hope for me. Please help….this problem seems to have even spread to Vietnam veterans….: Milk-Bar Clausewitzes, Bean Curd Napoleons

Will no thin, dainty, pallid, soy-fed wrists twitch spasmodically into action and banish this pinko plague with banshee wails for more American blood?

Even as I type this I feel my mouse pointer hovering towards the buy button below the leather-bound copy of John Locke’s treatise on government.

It may be too late for me so…

For God’s sake save yourselves and flip on the tele!

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