Buried (Story Teaser)

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There aren’t too many frontiers. If you gaze up you see the stars. That’s one of three scratched off the list. The other is in your head. It is the impenetrable virgin wilderness called consciousness. Which will remain forever chaste. 

The heavens do not worry about our fiery visits. Blinking silent bemusement as ape children hop with naive sophomoric zeal, remaining flightless, as Mother Earth calls them back to nest. 

The third frontier will bury you. 

Miles of sand and water hold revelations beneath their cloak. But if you can stand the choking depths. If you can hold at bay the smothering grip in which cold and pressure have wrapped their secrets. Then there you have your greatest chance to be Columbus. 

It was an odd sensation to slip beneath the black current without the wet ghost of a single drop. 

Jack looked down. Between his headlamp and the light strewn ocean floor, there was a sizeable thick inky darkness. 

Whole phalanxes of monsters could parade in that gap. Though it was not monsters he feared.

A tear in the drysuit, or too long of a tarry, or a rapid ascent all these spelled death more painful than the jaws of any demon. 

A small dark shape flitted amongst the grid of lights, pausing every so often, at this or that quadrant. 

Leslie looked very much like a shade at the lowest circle of hell. A strange high tech shade with a pert ass hidden somewhere under all that obfuscating gear. 

Jack smirked behind his mask.

She’d been the one to lead him on this wild goose chase. Tenured professors weren’t known for humoring the whims of their students. But every man had a weakness and his happened to be women. 

His smile turned into a grimace as he remembered that his daughter at twenty-two was just a year younger than…he thought of Alice his wife…

He realized that this was no time to feel guilty as Arnaud’s midwesternesque staccato demands broke his reverie. 

“You ok Doc. Ya just been. Hanging there. Forever now. Something wrong with the equipment.” 

“Everything’s pitch-perfect Arnie. Just had to get my head straight. This is my first real dive in over a year.” 

“Copy.” 

Jack dove. 

‘I’m going to hell for a piece of ass.’ 



Well…I really, REALLY, wanted to have something completely written by today. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until a few hours ago that I actually sat down to write. Then came the old research spiral. So all I can offer is this teaser.

Hey, at least I sexed it up for Valentine’s Day. Much love to all my subscribers.

I’m not going to engage in my old shitty habit of posting snippets. I hope to have this story ready to publish right here by next Friday.

I hope you enjoy this brief little episode.

XOXO

Platonically

Unless You Buy Me A Beer or Dozen


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Amthlynam (Short Story)

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Notre Dame, Big Ben, the Sistene chapel. These are known marvels. But what of those that crumbled into dust?

Centuries of soil at times wild with trees at times green with pasture shroud their memory. Alternating patchworks of increase and decline are the lily’s placed beside their tomb.

And the minds of men?

Do they dwell where their fathers tread?

Does the electricity in that pound of flesh called brain produce the sublime spires of Amthlynam?

Or does dull gain drive both the laborer and the sage to be unalloyed merchants?

How long I’ve waited! How many cold cramped hours have I spent beneath Paviljoensgracht!

Minutes from where Spinoza’s neat black leather shoes tapped their familiar rhythms. Past the musty smell of weathered books lived old Harris.

This medelander was neither Dutch nor old.

He spoke rarely and in accents that did not give up the English name that was apparent only to those who asked. For the first name, Peter, could well be Dutch.

While he possessed the rough hands of a sailor he had none of their mannerisms.

Neither old nor young but altogether indeterminate in every way he’d have drawn much speculation. That is if he appeared long enough to arouse speculation in those few lonely souls that haunted the alehouse.

Those that spoke to him were soon put off by his terse answers. It was not pleasant to talk to the medelander who never grew drunk, smiled only as a begrudged gesture of goodwill, and seemed to be perpetually interested by something in the middle distance.

If any of the bustling shopkeeps, fishers, or millers had cared they could easily have learned all of his habits. Habits by which they could have set their watches. So regular was he in his comings and goings that those who had a financial interest in them would prepare the port, paper, or herring that he required before he arrived.

One would think that the merchants of that great city would talk and wonder. But they did not. Neither fraternity nor curiosity could dare to break the fog around Peter Harris. A London mist so reticent and reserved that one stepped round it as reverently as if it were a grave.

He was so close. He could feel it. Could sense it wafting through the earthen walls. Three flights of stair within the flooded soil were Peter’s quarters. There was his business.

Here where the smell was symphony. Here he’d sit and listen. For in its myriad and unending notes there was a subtle voice. A voice that took a special ear. The perception of it nearly broke him.

Approaching the chemist’s table that had seen so many fits and starts he let out a chuckle. It was so strange a sound to hear. For its prolonged absence from his lips made it as clumsy and unnatural as all his strivings.

He picked up a scalpel and approached the eastern wall. There he scraped the fungi onto a silver tray. Placing this curiosity beside the brown wrapping that his writing-table bore he unfolded the latter. A sphere rolled across the oak and came to rest against a leatherbound copy of Blanquerna.

Having sterilized the scalpel in alcohol he sliced into the skin of the sphere. The rich clean aroma of citrus juxtaposed oddly with his subterranean surroundings. He consumed the grapefruit as circumspectly as he lived.

He took the silver tray and placed it beside an Ottoman. Here he reclined and took a few short contemplative puffs of hash. The first trick lay in silencing the critic. Then he could converse with the God that littered his tray.

He ate the soft pulpy flesh of this God.

And in moments the effects of communion were felt.

For before him was the heather field and the Sycamore tree.

“Shoo Ozzy.” Peter chided the now invisible cat that nuzzled at his ankles.

He heard the soft paws land softly in some other world.

“Bout time ya got here.” Said the small grim man sitting on the lowest branch.

A bit miffed at the lack of fanfare for his accomplishment Peter bit his lip and shrugged.

“Ooo the poor darling. Whaddya suppose… should I give ya medal for a bit of lemon n lime. Ain’t the way round here.”

Peter nodded.

“Right. That’s better then. So, what do you seek?”

“Memory.”

“Well we got plenty o that here. But first ye have to tell me the name o her chapel.”

Peter paused making sure to recall the proper pronunciation.

Am-flyn-am.”

With a smirk, the small grim man and the heather field gave way to a vast arcade brooding in the moonlight. In the midst of which stood a grace so sublime, whose suggestions were so perfect, that weaker men would have instantly gone mad.

Peter approached the gate of Amthlynam and found it open. He marveled at the spires, the stained glass, and the expressions of the gargoyles.

As the heavy oaken door squealed open Ozzy hissed.

“Do be quiet Ozzy!” Peter again chided.

To his great surprise, the beast responded. “Omnis homo est non recordabar.”

Peter shook his head and marched through baroque enchantments till he reached the book upon the pulpit.

On its leather surface were the tarnished silver letters that spelled out the common English word: Memory.

Peter read, and read, and read. He read until he was so full that he awoke screaming in tongues that hadn’t shook the air for aeons.

Ozzy had bitten his finger. Rousing him from his gluttony. But not soon enough.

If before he was obscure he now became infamous. He was the madman who the best sanitoriums the Hague had to offer could not cure. Weeping constantly and speaking with authority of the futures and histories of people he had never met.

His days as a triune pity, fortune teller, and sideshow came to an abrupt end on a cool September evening. No one had ever been able to locate Harris’ family so Doctor De Vries was ecstatic at the presence of a small grim old man who claimed to be Peter’s uncle.

Some now consider De Vries to be mad or worse a murderer. The aristocracy did not like a return to unpredictable destinies anymore than they liked infallibly dire predictions.

So very few believed the physician when he claimed that Peter died when the small grim man entered the room and spoke a simple English phrase.

“You didn’t think yad actually enjoy bein’ a knowitall didja?”

Upon whose utterance the very same uncle collapsed into a soft pulpy mushroom-like rubbish.


This tale is dedicated to H.P. Lovecraft.* A man whose diligent pursuit of preserving wonder and sensitivity in the face of callous empiricism is more important now than ever. A pursuit I attempt to ape with varied results.

And also to Ozzy Osbourne. Because he’s a mad lad. And the world would suck without Sabbath. 

Please donate because I don’t fancy dying from eating from too many tins. Not all aspects of one’s heroes lives are savory darlings.

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The Cottage – Part Eleven – (Short Story)

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Part One | Part Two |Part Three |  Part Four |Part Five |  Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten

There was a sound as if something were in flight. Intermittent static, strange gurgling, and rasping titters sent quick sharp almost painful shivers up his spine. Jim felt nauseous.

Then like waking from a bad dream he heard the first bars of “Something.”

What in the actual… holy fuck was that?” He muttered.

The cheery mellow romance of the sixties soothed too abruptly. Cosmic horror was cleanly cut from his psyche. And it left him reeling.

He released the needle and picked up the record mid-spin. It appeared normal.

He made it play again.

Within seconds he heard, “Something in the way she moves…”

“That’s it…I’m losing my fuckin’ mind.” He thought.

But why would he imagine something like that? He wasn’t given to nightmares. Even here in this weird lonely place those dreams that he could recall were pleasant.

“Keep it together Jim.” He mumbled attempting to regain his nerve.

“Ye best be keepin’ the ways.”

He wheeled round so fast he almost fell.

There in the center of the parlor was that blasted scarecrow of a woman.

“How…”

That same perfectly intact smile broke out of her wrinkled face like sunshine through a tattered curtain. She lifted a hand with an extended finger on which hung a ring of keys.

“Didn’t think that the closest thing yer kind had to a wife has wifely privilege?” The grandame chuckled.

“That’s not right.”

“Neither is being a Philistine in Rome.”

“Huh?”

“Haven’t ye heard da old sayin?”

“Heard loads but that don’t excuse this. I’m guessin’ ya never had sons cause burstin’ in like this…well ya might see thigns ya rather didn’t.”

“I don’t care bout yer piggishness. That’s afore ye and God what I care is that you’re in Rome and ye do not do as the Romans.”

“Well, good. Cause I heard that Rome fell.”

“Smart…very smart..fool…I see that you’re very much after the new way.”

“Huh?”

“Ye think this is all just some kinda game. Believe that everythins’ plain and tidy. That this great thing with it’s stars and the way that Cronin blood plays through yer veins it’s all just so…just cause…it’s gotta be…cause it is…right?”

It took Jim a minute to process all that.

“Yea…makes about as much sense as anythin can.”

She smiled again.

Jim leapt back.

What stood before him was not Lizzy Jennings but a beautiful youth with dirty blonde braids and radiant skin.

At least that’s what he thought he saw. Because just as quick as the satanic vesper had melded into psychedelic rock the old crone was again before him.

Though now he noticed something in her eyes. Something keen and vital in the icy blue. Playful or perhaps tricky that twinkle was unsettling. He’d seen it before in some Union guys. They were young but possessed by something…older…something wiser and that combination of vigor and insight was formidable. It was off putting.

“Why da ya jump bout like a frightened bunny? If the world is just so?”

Jim sighed.

“Look could you please promise me that ye won’t just bust on in here without knockin?”

“So long as ye can promise to keep the ways.”

“Fine!”

“You’re lyin’.”

Jim sighed again and began to protest.

But Lizzy held up a finger. “It don’t matter. Ye can’t convince me ‘gainst what I know. The Lord can see into the heart. And from time to time he even let’s sinner see the heart’s o others. This is why we know ye are a fool. Why we have halved your pay till ye comply.”

Jim pondered for a bit.

“No! I won’t be able to make rent…Barragan will fuckin’ skin me. It don’t matter if I’m on the moon. He’ll fuckin’ skin me.”

Lizzy laughed. “Now if only ye were as afraid of them that could destroy the soul same as them that can destroy the body.”

“I don’t take kindly to folk trying to scare me.” Jim said coldly.

Lizzy shook her head and muttered, “Folk,” with a wry disdain.

Jim stamped his foot.

Lizzy sighed.

“I’m afraid there’s nothin’ I can do about it. Ye may live…I suppose…but even if ya do…you might not find livin’ as pleasant.”

“Is that a threat?”

“If I wanted to harm ye,”  she said dangling the keys again. “I coulda done it a dozen times over.”

Jim stared.

“Frankly, I don’t much care about ye. Too brash too removed from worship…”

“There’s that religion shit again.” Jim shook his head.

“Nah…ain’t no religion…this is older magic than Abraham…than order…than yer new England tidiness…that factory faith o yers…no….”

“That sounds real religious…”

“No I don’t care for ye…but I do care for keepin things untangled…and as that bastird faith would have it…only a fool can untie the knot.”

She turned and headed for the door.

Pausing at the threshold she said. “I only wanted to save ye some trouble. But ye have the heart of Absalom. The heart of a fool.”

Jim was at a loss as the door shut calmly behind her.

The muffled sound of hooves on grassland reached his ears and he headed for the liquor.


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The Cottage – Part Ten – (Short Story)

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Part One | Part Two |Part Three |  Part Four |Part Five |  Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine

Afternoon found him stiff limbed and groggy. Jim reengaged the safety and set the twelve gauge gingerly on the wood panel floor.

It was stupid to sleep with a loaded and ready weapon. It hurt a bit. He could stand to be a fool but not an all-out idiot. For better or for worse, the sting of self-criticism was short-lived.

Soon his mind recalled the reason for this folly. It replayed the strange melodic chirping, the peculiar pitter patter of flesh on shingle, and Jim shuddered.

He shuddered at the possibility of the unknown. What if his tidy theory was wrong? Most frightening of all, was the idea that for the first time in his quarter century of living, he was out of his depths.

So, Jim was silent as he methodically went about his morning ablutions.

He recalled Kenny’s advice. “Listen ya little shit. You think you’re real smooth. Which is why one day you are guaranteed to fuck up. Sooner or later something always throws us off balance. Let me tell you an old corpsman’s trick. Act natural, act ritual, keep tidy, shave every morning even if you don’t ever shave. Keep your sideburns trimmed. Floss those pearly whites. Gain as much control of the close and minor as possible. The rest will follow. This is the rule of momentum.”

Jim brought his chin to a porcelain smooth polish. His sideburns were soon impeccable. Tucking in his shirt he went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast with a determined circumspection.

Soon his brain produced another theory.

‘They’re tryin’ to spook me into their game. They want me to be a link in the chain. To be a little messenger boy at the safe house. Without even knowing it. That’s why they were up there playin monster. They want me to believe in voodoo rather than let me into the money. Outsiders are too much of a liability even if they’re kin. I know this gangland shit.’

His habitual calm returned. Though only for the span it took to cross his threshold.

The brilliant noonday sun revealed a once familiar meadow crisscrossed by a gridlock pattern of circles within circles.

‘If this is a ruse. It’s god damned elaborate!’ He mused as the chill tendrils of doubt once again crept into his psyche.

Where there is doubt, there is the unknown, where there is the unknown there is fear.

“No.” Jim said aloud.

‘I refuse to be fucked with. I don’t care what sort of Scooby Doo shenanigans these fuckers throw at me. I’m not gonna lose my shit over eccentric landscaping.’

He strode out into the peculiar mist that was so strange for midday. Save for it and the weird circles everything seemed normal.

Birds twittered and insects sang. Wind rustled and trees swayed. He focused on the normal.

‘Yes, in fact everything is normal. There’s nothing abnormal about mischief. Especially from locals to an outsider.’

Still, he figured it wise to stick with his original plan and lay low for a bit.

He considered setting more traps. But there was no way to tell if he was being watched. There were at least half a dozen intruders as far as he could recollect. Any of the tens of thousands of trees could hide them. They could be watching even now.

Jim offered up a double bird salute and went inside to think.

The cottage was strange and silent. It did not creak. It was so perfect still. He felt as if he inhabited a hermetically sealed box.

He didn’t know why it hadn’t bothered him till now. The silence was deafening. He could not stomach it.

Jim took quick efficient strides to the record player.

While he wasn’t particularly keen on the Beatles he figured ‘any port in a storm.’ So, it was that the needle found Abbey Road.

Yet, no music played. Jim leaned forward to try to see what went wrong.

Before he could complete the troubleshooting a crisp clear voice with a Nordic lilt broke through the speakers.

“Abasalom, Absalom, why do you not heed?”


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The Cottage – Part Eight – (Short Story)

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Part One –Click Here | Part Two – Click Here Part Three – Click Here | Part Four – Click Here | Part Five – Click Here | Part Six – Click Here | Part Seven – Click Here

It was true.

Lizzy might be right in calling him a fool. But he wasn’t stupid.

He was not about to venture into the yawning depths. The fact that the Maglite beam was consumed by darkness, that it did not find a wall. This fact advertised the folly of his lust for knowledge.

“Fuck that shit.” He said aloud as he turned to face the steep hillside he’d shot down like a bobsled.

“And fuck this shit.” He cursed again at the prospect of ascending that slick, leafy, twig strewn mess.

He looked left and he looked right. There were no alternatives.

Jim thought of the approaching evening. Though he no longer feared the woods. He was not stupid. Getting turned around in a thousand miles of tree littered mountainside was a pain best avoided.

This and the call of the warm caress of whiskey stirred his battered frame to action.

He cracked a thick branch in half and sharpened it with Hant’s buck knife.

Jim dug in his heels and thrust the spear into the rich, black, soil. Soil that was aromatic with the memory of a million rotted generations. In this fashion he ascended the three or so hundred feet to the crest of the hill.

The position of the sun hinted at what his watch confirmed. It was now late afternoon. A condition that would soon turn to evening.

He took haste to find the ribbons that he’d left.

They were bright Tiffany green same as the curtains from which they had been cut. Not ideal in a verdant summer wood but useful enough against the browns and greys of tree trunks.

Which is why he was so surprised at being unable to locate any.

The rock formation was its own compass. It had enough idiosyncrasies that he knew on which side the last marker should lie.

Yet it was missing.

He even remembered the tree where it should hang. Not only because it was a peculiar sort of oak but also on account of the fact that he’d etched a giant B for Bruins into the mighty trunk. Most trees simply got a notch, but he’d felt the need to fashion a herald for his nation.

Sure enough, there, right at eye level sat the evidence of his patriotism.

‘Maybe it got blown away.’ He mused even though he found it unlikely. Since he’d tied it like the rest firmly in double-knots round a sturdy branch.

It kind of gave him the creeps. But he didn’t have time for that.

So, he sang a tune he’d picked up when Kenny his best friends older brother returned from Beirut.

“Don’t let yer dingle dangle…

Dangle in the dirt!

Pick it up…

And brush it off…

And stick it up her skirt!”

He was glad that he’d inherited some of the circumspection that plagued old Hant.

“Don’t let yer dingle dangle…

Dangle in the river!

Pick it up…

And brush it off…

And stick it in her Beaver!”

Because the second, the third, the fourth tree and so on had lost their ribbons. The only indication he had that his sense of direction was working were the notches he’d etched.

“Don’t let your dingle dangle…

Dangle on the floor!

Pick it up…

And brush it off…

And stick it in a whore!”

Eventually, after the span of a couple of miles or so, he saw the familiar garish green.

He halted.

“DUTCH! Ya crazy overgrown hick summabitch…is that you fuckin’ with me!”

There was no response. Only the cautious return of bird song and insect ballad.

“Lizzy! Ya old fuckin bitch!” He yelled hoping his filthy tongue would stir enough ire in the grandame to give up her position.

No response.

As the sound of fauna returned again, he grew concerned.

It was most likely hillbillys fucking with him. But, still…there was something he didn’t like in that pleasant chirping.

“Nah..never heard a bird like that.” He whispered under his breath as he double timed the last three miles to the cottage.

When he burst into the meadow he again cried out.

“Hey! Hey you hillbilly schmuck!” He yelled at the figure that melded into an adjacent line of trees some thousand yards ahead.

‘Is that a fucking kid…’ Jim shook his head.

As he did so a bizarre circle of darkened grass caught his eyes.

“Nope.” He said out loud drawing his .38 and firing into the ground, the air, the trunks of trees.

“You do not want to fuck with Jim Cleary! I guarantee it! You inbred fucking son of a bitch!” His father’s temper flared through him. He considered giving chase to the midget hick.

But his wits soon returned, and he began to chuckle as he kicked at the strange discolored circle of grass.

“You think this gangland shit is new to me!” He cried in the direction of his prankster.

“You know what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna go jerk off and take a nap. No thugshit is gonna scare me off what’s mine.”

He retrieved a kerosene can from the supply closet and poured the liquid fuel into the shape of a B. After half a cigarette he smirked with self-satisfaction of a Bruins logo adorning the middle of the circle of hick mischief.

He pissed on it for good measure.

“Southie piss n’ southie pride!”

He could not be bothered to give any more of a shit than that to prevent a forest fire and retired for the evening.


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The Cottage – Part Seven – (Short Story)

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Part One –Click Here | Part Two – Click Here Part Three – Click Here | Part Four – Click Here | Part Five – Click Here | Part Six – Click Here

The basement was impossible to open from the outside. It was as stealthy an aperture as the access in the kitchen. Presenting itself as nothing but a flat slightly raised patch of wild grass.

‘I just don’t get this place.’ Jim shook his head as he looked at the pile of logs, he’d cut to replenish the ever-dwindling supply.

Sighing he made his way into the house. Making sure to flip the external switch by the nearly invisible door before descending into the basement.

He crossed the ample floor and ascended the opposite stairs. He cursed aloud at the convoluted lock as he worked the odd latch mechanism and swung the heavy grass bearing door open into the Kentucky sunshine.

‘Fuck.’ He said massaging his shoulder from the strain of exit.

It took almost as long to carry the logs down as it did to procure them.

A satisfied fatigue set in. He’d never felt this way in Boston. Though the feeling was similar to coming home from the various construction odd-jobs he’d done; there was a subtlety in providing so directly for ones needs which city life just couldn’t match.

So, as he settled into the couch with the now familiar thistle tumbler, he felt sublime. He felt downright esoteric.

The mountains were a throng of steeples. The hills a fragrant incense giving worship to the host of heaven. Which gleamed its blessing in return.

He was lounging on a celestial pew. A parishioner in a hurtling temple that arced its grand procession round manifold and Holy gifts. It was a sacrament to live.

So were his thoughts as he settled into slumber.

The owl, and the Whippoorwill, were joined by some novel pleasant chirping in a nocturnal hymn that sent Jim to dreamlands wilder than he’d ever dreamed before.

He saw glints of blue grey luminescence on the opposite shore of a subterranean lake. A lake in whose crystal clear and balmy waters he felt no hesitancy to bathe.

He dived. And oh, the depth of the thing made his heart race with an electric joy.

There was a moment of confusion when he realized that he could breathe. And he swam on into illimitable depths.

There were islands. There were stones. Stones with glyphs that sat among vague ruins that tantalized.

All the surfaces were smooth so perfect smooth. As perfect smooth as the crystal water that slipped through his fingers as if it were just another form of air.

He woke with a sweet feeling of steady energy. He was hungry but the hunger was secondary to the overpowering urge to wander.

So, with a sip of water, a ruck full off food, a canteen, a flask, and a flashlight he set off into the late morning etching notches and tying ribbons round the trunks of trees.

He was keen on knowing the whole of the valley.

Since he lacked a compass, he improvised his own system of cardinal navigation.

The three peaks, big blue, horizon, and broken pine were his north, south, east, and west. As his first formal foray he picked big blue.

Maybe cause he was a yank and the south was more exotic.

The wood thickened, the wood thinned, here and there were groves, gullies, and ditches. He delighted in the wonderful variety of landscape. But he did not allow it to distract him from marking his path.

A city wasn’t entirely different than a forest. Graffiti, broken sidewalks, and construction cranes were comparable navigational aids to ribbons, oaks, and streams.

It was midafternoon when he came on an odd collection of rocks. A few of these were so chair like that he couldn’t help but pause. The sudden stop made him recall the rumbling in his belly. And so, he ate the wild turkey sandwich he’d brought.

After a while he noticed how odd his picnic spot felt.

Was the air here cooler?

He walked well beyond the perimeter of the granite formation.

Yes. It was warmer there.

He walked back to the rocks. Yes. It was definitely cooler round the stones.

Jim circumnavigated the geologic caprice. This exploration yielded a discovery. There was current of the strange cool air which seemed to come from the opposite side of the stones as the last marker he placed.

He followed it for maybe a quarter of a mile when he suddenly shrieked. He was sliding. Sliding down fast through damp leaves and mushy moss.

“Shit…shit…shit…shit…!” He cursed as his descent accelerated.

Finally, after what seemed like an aeon he caught sight of an approaching rock. Though he knew it was going to hurt he swung his foot to catch it as he flipped onto his belly and dug his screaming fingers into the hard black twig littered earth.

As he sat on his haunches giving himself a damage report he gasped.

At the foot of the hill that had almost killed him sat the mouth of a cave.

‘How the hell does cool air rise?’


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The Cottage – Part Three – (Short Story)

 

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Part Two – Click Here   | Part One – Click Here

Jim looked at the manila envelope on the coffee table. In large, neat, red letters done up calligraphy style the envelope carried a message, “Read Now. Read Careful. Read again.”

He undid the flat diverging fastening pin. And instantly regretted it. There were at least a hundred typewritten pages.

The first line read.

“I know you are a fool.”

‘Yep, that’s Hants voice. Gee thanks ya crusty old hick. At least I don’t have to have some witchdoctor type up my letters.’

“You’d best heed Lizzy. She’s your aunt.”

Jim laughed aloud. “So he isn’t gay after all.”

The next few pages read like a chapter out of Leviticus. They were all stern commands spoken like a Hebrew prophet about the cleansing of this and the placing of that.

‘I’d make up weird shit too if I had nothing to do besides play with my prick and get drunk.’ He mused.

The Sunday School lesson was putting him to sleep and he deposited the pages back in the envelope.

“Maybe if I get bored…but right now…I’m gonna get blitzed.”

He walked over to the mantel. Saw a mostly full Johnnie Walker Red and poured it into an ornate crystal tumbler featuring a thistle.

“Musta done more than sell ginseng and mine…this shit costs more than my apartment.”

Jim plomped unceremoniously onto the mahogany leather couch and stared into the unlit fireplace. He was too lazy to light it. And there was no reason to. He was accustomed to broken heaters and Boston winters. Besides there was something hypnotic about the stillness.

It was so different than the roar of engines and the howl of sirens. Jim found it far more intoxicating than the whiskey that warmed his bones. Soon he sank into deep strange dreams.

Dreams that he could not recall when the brilliant mountain sun filled the cottage with waking. At first he panicked because he was late for his shift at Dempsey’s. Then as his bleary eyes slowly grew accustomed to the light he panicked even harder.

The envelope that he had left on the coffee table was lying neatly. Balanced ever so carefully so as not to fall off the armrest on the opposite side of the couch.

He started to his feet and cursed as the empty fifth clattered beneath them. He lost his balance and fell back onto his makeshift sleeping quarters.

“Guess Dorkothy’s not in Boston anymore.” He remarked chuckling at his own incompetence. Half from actual mirth and half to shield his wits from mulling too deeply on the implications of the letters new position.

“Shit, I musta drunk too fast.”

He figured that he must of got bored and played balance the bullshit while shitfaced.

“Yep…that’s that prehangover warning headache.” He said aloud as he ran to the kitchen and guzzled three tall glasses of well water from the faucet.

‘Thank Christ the guy has OCD.’ Jim mused as he happily discovered how easy it was to find the essentials. Eggs, frying pans, butter everything was in its place. He made himself a large omlete. Ate. Drank more water.

It was already past noon and pleasantly warm as he pissed in the outhouse.

“I could get used to this.” He spoke aloud again to no one in particular as he slowly recalled the right method from that one time he’d had to use a percolator.

He plopped on the front porch with a tin cup full of rich dark coffee and lit a cigarette.

“Yeah, I could get used to this.”


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The Cottage – Part Two – (Short Story)

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Part One – Click Here

Jim had never seen stars that bright before. In a sky as clean and clear as the angles of his uncle’s cabin. They hung silent. They hung cold.

“It’s chilly up here.” He remarked.

“That’s the damp settin in.”

“Well then I’d best be settin in. I see a chimney. And…” Jim said extracting the maglight he’d lifted off a distracted cop.

“Hey.” Dutch said with such resonance that he didn’t have to shout. “…Don’t be shinin that at the trees.”

“Uh….what the fuck Dutch?”

Dutch showed the first sign of discomfort that Jim had thus far witnessed. The aftereffects of the ATV headlights revealed a rolling of the eyes up and to the left. The giant seemed to be considering something.

“I hunt round these parts. In fact I got a bow on me right now. I don’t want ye to scare off my game.”

“Is it hunting season?”

“It’s always huntin’ season round Reed.”

“…well alrighty then…” Jim said. “Can I at least finally have a fucking smoke?”

“Don’t ‘fend me none.”

“Any reason that we were in such a rush? Couldn’t we have stayed at a hotel so that my Southie ass didn’t have to immediately get Lyme disease pokin round the dark?”

“Well, ye might think it silly but round here we have certain beliefs.”

“Ya don’t say…” Jim sneered recalling the ginseng.

“Hant’s house cannot stand without Hant’s blood.”

Jim took a step back.

“I ain’t into that bloodletting Wicca shit. Had this one girlfriend…”

“T’ain’t what I meant.”

“Good,” Jim said allowing the hammer of his .38 to come to rest more audibly than it had been cocked.

“I ain’t afeard of yer pea shooter. Nor should ye be afeard of me.”

“I’m a city boy. I ain’t afeard of anything cause I’m afeard of everything. People are more dangerous than bears.”

“Well, then maybe you’ll last longer than I thought ye would.”

“Last…?”

“Don’t ye mind that. I didn’t mean to insult ya. It’s just that most folk. Even country folk…they can’t dwell here too long. There’s not enough of the wild in these people. And so the wild here overwhelms them.”

“Ain’t nothin wilder than a Cleary.”

Dutch started. “That’s not Hant’s surname….” He looked really worked up.

“Well, yeah. He’s from my mom’s side. Cronin.”

Dutch seemed relieved. “As long as ya got the blood.”

“Um..look…could you really need to work on your bedside manner.”

“Huh?”

“Could ya please fukin stop sayin blood.”

“What’s wrong with blood. You got blood I got blood everything’s got blood.”

“I’m just worried that with all this blood talk there might be some things that won’t have no more by the end of the night.”

“Are ya yellow?”

“No, just street-smart.”

“Well, there ain’t no streets round here. And I need to be goin. I’ll help ya carry in your belongings’ then I gotta go.”

“Fine by me,” Jim said hoping that the blood-obsessed rustic got goin’ for good.

Jim was a light traveler. A case of whiskey, a hamper of clothes, a toothbrush, Hustler, and a carton of smokes were the sum of his belongings. So it wasn’t long before they’d stowed those belongings in the compulsively neat cabin.

Something didn’t feel right about the precision of the furniture. The way it was spaced. It didn’t seem to be done for entirely utilitarian reasons.

“This is some crazy Feng Shui shit right here…” Jim said trying to move a sharply cornered diamond shaped table away from the wall.

“Don’t do that.”

“Is that your favorite sayin?”

“I mean…ye can try. To do it…but it ain’t gonna do.”

He was right.

The table was affixed to the floor.

“O, what in the fuck…!” Jim exclaimed. “I need a god damned drink.”

Dutch chuckled. “Plenty o that here. Ye probably won’t even get to the stuff ya brought.” He said pointing to the large amply stocked mantelpiece.

“Well…I knew old Hant was a drunk.” Jim said wryly. “But I didn’t know he was gay.”

“He ain’t.”

“Then why is every lamp a god damned Tiffany?”

“Beliefs.”

“Uh huh.”

“Look boy. There’s ways round here. And ye had best learn them. If not out of respect, then so as to get your pay.”

“Now you’re speaking a language I can understand.”

“Gud.” Said the giant as he turned to leave. “I was told that ye can read. Yer uncle had Doc type up the caring of this place. So, make sure that ye do.” He opened the door.

“O…and boy…you will hear things. It’s best to not let them bother you. And they won’t bother you. So long as ye follow the rules. Best take heed o old Lizzy. Do not forget to leave the root. On the stump. Towards the side that grows the moss. Ye do not want it to be missed.”

And with that the cabin resounded with a slammed door.

“What in the actual fuck…” Jim said as he listened to the disappearing roar of the ATV.


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The Cottage – Part One – (Short Story)

Image result for kentucky mountain


Appalachia spreads itself in grey and green a few hundred miles inland of the Atlantic. Its mountains, caves, lakes, and fields are a delight. It is a garden. It is a temple.

It is where Jim found himself that summer.

His uncle who went by the name of Hant had got a blood clot in the lung. His modest dwelling on the opposite side of a miniscule Kentucky township was always immaculate. And it was in his untrained hand that Jim had received the instruction to keep it that way.

Jim Cleary was a bit of a layabout. Not even committed enough to be a drunk. And though he knew next to nothing about country living the small stipend and the opportunity to daydream made him keen on fulfilling his relatives desire.

If this wasn’t enough to seal his fate. Then the nagging of his equally indigent roommates certainly drove the last nail into the coffin of his urban malaise.

“Where da hell ya goin again Jim?” Tony inquired in his brusque Boston brogue.

“Kentucky.”

“And what the hell for?”

“Family shit…changea pace..ya dig?”

“Hell no, I don’t dig how’s me ‘n Harry gonna keep up with the rent.”

“I already told ya I’d be sendin my share.”

“I dunno Jim you’re always late with that shit.”

“Yea…cause that rat fuck boss o mine thinks it’s cute to take my tips cause of a coupla late deliveries.”

“That old song ain’t gonna help here…So lateness is a habit…how the hell am I supposed to trust ya? We still have four months till the lease is up.”

“Cause my Uncle squirreled away a fortune getting black lung and sellin ginseng. And he’s gonna share so long as I keep the house his dad built from turning back into woods.”

“Hmm…I don’ know man….”

“You’re just gonna have to deal cause there’s no way ya can keep me here anyway.”

“Whatever man….do what ya want…but if we don’t get that rent…I’m gonna tell old Barragan ya flew the coop. And you know his IRA ass is crazy enough to find ya in whatever kind of deliverance style backwoods hollow ya hidin in . YA DIG?”

“Yea, man what the fuck ever.” Cleary said exiting the door.

“Fuck you Jim.” Tony said with a grin.

“Fuck you too Tony.”

And with a double bird salute, Jim Cleary set of for Logan International.

He was unaccustomed to the luxury of flight. He distrusted the cleanliness of first class. Nor did he like the look of the silent burly tour guide that his uncle had sent along.

The guy had a beard that would make Euripides jealous. Went by the name of Dutch and had a pensive air like a wild dog that had found its way into the city.

Made it damned hard to flirt with the stewardess.

After a half hour, Jim gave up on making small talk. A guy that talked less than Hant was a lost cause. He didn’t know why he’d even bothered.

It wasn’t gonna be too long of a flight so Jim just sank into the mind-numbing arms of an inflight movie.

It wasn’t long before Rob Schneider forced his brain to shut down.

It was switched back on by the deep thundering simplicity of. “Wehere, let’s go.”

And indeed everybody was busily extracting luggage and making their exit in that leisurely, orderly, upper middle-class way.

‘Yuppie schmucks.’ Jim couldn’t help but chuckle at the collection of khakis and polos mixing with folk who should also be wearing khakis and polos but were trying their hardest to appear like a Bluegrass revival.

A battered pickup pulled up to them outside the parking lot. It was driven by a spry old bat with icy blue eyes that went by the name of Lizzy Jennings. Said she was a Viking and that Jim had better watch his manners.

“Don’t got any.”

“Well learn ya sum. Hant told me ya were a thick one.”

Jim ignored the insult and wen to light a cigarette. Only to have it smacked out of his hand.

“Don’t ya bring dat filth in my car.”

“Jesus Christ! I just got off the flight lady…”

The steely angular framed gaze never changed as a wiry freckled arm shot forward and twisted his ear hard.

“Don’t ya be blaspheming in here neither!”

“Ahh…god damn you old bitch…”

This only made her tug harder.

She stopped just shy of tearing his ear off.

“Fuck I shoulda stayed in Boston.” He muttered under his breath.

The drive from Louisville to Reed was five long hours.

Five long hours with two rustic sentinels whose eerie silence was only matched by the eerier economy of motion in their smooth efficient movements.

‘At least it’s pretty.’ Jim mused as he gazed down into the sleepy verdant valleys that flitted beneath the fluctuating elevation.

It was dusk by the time they arrived at the half dozen or so buildings that comprised the township of Reed, Kentucky. He guessed the thing with the spire was a church, the square thing was a post office, the colonial thing was the town hall, and everything else was shops.

‘Where the hell are the houses?’ He mused.

“Ya ever been on a horse ‘fore?” Asked the sun-dried Valkerie.

‘O fuck…’

The old bat laughed in an innocent girlish sort of way that threw Jim off even more than the prospect of riding a horse.

What was even more disturbing was the perfect, gleaming white, set of teeth that laugh revealed.

‘This crazy crone has better choppers than me…’

“I’m pullin’ at yer leg. I know a fool like you ain’t got no useful habits. You gonna wish you had a horse tho. Cause that four wheeler is a sight more likely to flip than my Sadie.”

Cleary heard a roar from the building that Dutch had disappeared to.

“Don’ be lookin so down. It’s only fifteen miles afore a warm bed and some whiskey.”

“FIFTEEN!”

She laughed that weird coquettish laugh again that was so at odds with her appearance and behavior.

He didn’t have too much time to puzzle over it though cause his carriage was already by his side.

Jim reluctantly took a seat behind Dutch wrapping his fingers tight around the luggage mount.

He was surprised by the rough feel of an old rope round his kneck.

He looked down to see a sack swinging down to his solar plexus.

“Now lemme tell ye bout Thursdays.” Lizzy Jennings said.

“Aha..”

“That’s ginseng in that pouch there.”

“Ok…”

“Today is Thursday and I put some out on the stump. Dutch will show you the stump. Startin next Thursday you’re gonna have to put some seng down afore dusk.”

“Umm…ok.”

“I suggest ya follow what I tell ye. Cause ye don’ wanna learn it from another.”

“What…?”

“Just put the root down on the stump. Or else there’s gonna be trouble. ALRIGHT BOY?” She stated with vehemence.

“Put the ginseng on the stump…on Thursday…before dusk…I get it.”

She smiled oddly and whistled.

Jim barely had time to get a fresh hold on the luggage rack before he and the giant roared into the inky mountain.


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The Prosaic Wall (Full Story Link)

Due to my schedule I have to write things in sections to keep a steady output. I know that some people prefer reading a story in full on one page. So I’ve made that possible.

Click on my patrydork link to read my recent short story in full.

It’s free.

https://www.patreon.com/posts/19200475

I chose to use a link instead of just making a new post because I have aesthetic hangups of posting the same story to my blog twice.

That and shameless self promotion.

Cheers.


 

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