In my area, we’re still allowed outside so I went for a bike ride. Need it to help me fall asleep since I gotta get up at 4 am. Some fatty suburbanite hausfrau slapped her wrist at me and a tub of lard soccer dad in a minivan blared his horn. Moments later I saw folk walking up the street and people round my neighborhood were walking dogs, strolling, and watching kids play basketball.
Why is it the fat and obnoxious who are suddenly health obsessed?

Fat office drone drains on the economy should not be allowed to vote or drive. Imagine how much gas would be saved if these self-righteous monstrosities didn’t way down their two ten SUVS with the weight of a walrus.