Fatalism (Poem)

mcllelands


A coupla more songs

And its time to die

Same old fatalism

Somethin like two wrongs

Don’t make a try

Raindrop prism

Filters

Same old fatalism

Call it pessimism

Heavy hitters

Put on those tracks

Follow the rails

Again and

A coupla more songs

Draw some links in sand

Mostly longs

In whispers

Made of suggestions

Compulsive vespers

Miss and directions

Researching and

A coupla more songs

And its time to die

And and and same old fatalism

Under a rosy sky

Floating cherry smoke

Epileptic relativism

Gin and coke

And a coupla more songs

and its time to die

Filters parliament

With a heavy sigh

Empty boxes that cement

Every tender why

Same old fatalism

Random assembly

To chase away

Determinism

Determined to stay

Who said what to where and when

Is that destiny? Was that destiny?

I don’t Amen.

It’s hard when you speak in periods you know

Yea it goes something like

A couple more songs that grow

Into a cheap old mic

Maybe one day will glow

Like that same old fatalism

Like a raindrop prism

That arcs double wide

Trailer park philosophies

Theyr’e on our side

That same old fatalism paints symphonies

Come on baby do ya wanna ride?


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What I Mean (Poem)

Answers

You’re harshin my mellow baby

I don’t feel your vibe

You’re always maybe

That just ain’t my tribe

Well so

If you don’t dig it

You can go

I ain’t gotta fit

This ain’t no show

Why

There’s no reason

That you can’t try

It’s such a late season

Can’t you see that

Certainty

Isn’t a hat

At least not for me

If you want answers

Find someone who ain’t as free

Tow that line

If that’s your scene

I’ll be fine

Cause I don’t know what I mean


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Saturday Morning Jam

This Saturday morning has me thrilled with possibilities. So i tried to capture that in a little jam session on guitar.


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Friday Rain (Guitar and Violin)


Everything is mighty green.


Production Tools

FOSS!

Ardour

Focusrite Scarlett 2i2 (Mic that came in the kit)

CAD MH210 Headphones

Kdenlive

LINUX MINT!

Free GNU/Linux Logo Penguin SVG - TitanUI


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The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 8.9 – Schulze

Image result for spanish hospital


“Roderick!”

Something wet and foul registered.

“Roderick! …wake up….!”

My hand closed round a cold roughness as I yanked it from my forehead.

My eyes followed the motion panning left and to the floor. There lay a disgusting rag.

“Wake up you sloppy drunk! We have to leave!”

I was terribly confused.

“Leave…?”

“I saw them…spied them from the adjacent house…with your field goggles. There’s time if you’d just move!”

My mind was blank. My limbs were heavy.

“Damn you and your whoring!” Jones cried as I gasped from the cold shock of his buckets contents.

Slowly like a jigsaw the pieces were falling into place. I’d been chatting up some brown eyed number…Maria I think. There had been a liberal amount of wine. Yet, not that liberal.

Not to drive me to this. I felt like wood. Verdun was kinder.

“Stir!”

He yanked me onto cold marble. I was always surprised by the strength his gangly frame possessed.

I registered a sharp boot in my ribs.

“You’ll thank me…there’ll be worse if you don’t hurry…they’re going to bleed us Hamilton.”

I raised myself up to my knees, heart racing, vision blurred to behold a hospital room.

Acrid coffee was thrust in my face.

“Drink.”

The hot tin cup burned but my hands were so numb that it barely registered. The taste made me wretch.

Though not as much as the vision my growing wakefulness afforded. Next to my bunk were jars of bile and blood.

“That’s not even a quarter of what they’ll take. We had to drain the poison.”

“They?” I inquired rising to my wobbly feet.

“Yes, those blasted Germans….the Black Lodge…she was one of their’s. That little treat she slipped in you drink was preparation…ritual garnish.”

“Schulze in Spain?!” I was incredulous.

“Good! You’re up. Now come on! I have a motor waiting.”

I stumbled after him into the unforgiving glare of continental sun. Barely noting him shoulder a bayonet.

Scarcely had my feet alighted before the car began to move.

“Do you have your sidearm?”

“It was in my jacket.”

Fred Jones shook his massive brow and handed me a cigarette.

“It’ll steady your nerves.”

“For what exactly.” My brain was still foggy.

The next items to fall in my lap were a heavy Mark I revolver and a box of matches.

“They might be possessed but they’re still Huns. It’ll take them a while to figure that I paid their whore better for your miserable life. Still, better to be ready now than later.”

“Where are we going?”

“Malaga…then New York.”

“New York!”

“Better New York than the grave.”

“Schulze is no reason to quit Europe.”

“Schulze is a finger of a hand that belongs to hefty arm.”

We drove on in silence till we entered the country and stopped at a farm-house. A somber looking Spaniard exited and exchange keys with Jones.

We switched cars and were back on the road again.

“While you were playing in the trenches I was doing liaisons.”

“Playing…playing…! You…”

I was about to strike him when he interjected.

“Good! That’s exactly the sort of energy we need right now but don’t use it to mar the face that saved you from becoming Satan’s cocktail.”

He was right. But, I still didn’t understand anything.

“Where the hell are we getting the money to go to bloody New York?”

“Where there are wars, there is plunder, where there is plunder there are secrets, and where there are secrets, there are her majesties spies.”

“I see. At least that’s intelligible. But, tell me what the hell does Schulze want.”

“We broke his toy…don’t you remember?”

“The shewstone? That old parlour trick prop. He tracks us to Spain…for a trinket!?”

“Serves him right. That wasn’t Gabriel that appeared in Hamilton Manor.”

I rolled my eyes.

“O, we have a skeptic. Well, then how do you account for your family’s seat sinking into the moors?”

“Peaty soil.”

Jones rolled his eyes right back.

“Tell me Sir Roderick….do all your families possessions suddenly hum and sing and sink without a trace into the soil?”

“Well, ok suppose I buy your voodoo story. What’s so sacred about a shewstone? How does it warrant risking health, wealth, and liberty…”

“He doesn’t care for the material. He cares for what we awakened. As rotten as he is…he’s not evil… but there are others in Germany and I’m afraid England as well…that very much are.”

“I don’t believe in evil.”

“Let’s hope you can maintain that illusion. Believe me if the thing that Schulze wants to propitiate with your blood get’s a hold of your spirit you will.”

“Oh, come off it. You’re just eager for a holiday in the colonies and jealous of my success with Spanish ladies.”

“You’re a baboon Roderick.”

“He can make another shewstone…this doesn’t make sense.”

“It’s not just a shewstone. There’s a reason the Bible warns about searching for signs and wonders.”

“Huh?”

“You have to disabuse yourself of gnostic deceit. Matter is not profane. And there exist certain arrangements of matter that in the presence of great spiritual energies become conduits.”

“I don’t follow.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m telling you there is a greater war a greater horror coming to Europe. Schulze only recently caught on to the intentions of certain parties within his order. Being the single-minded hun that he is he fancies it can all be put back into Pandora’s box by having us offered to the abyss.”

I was silent.

“What he doesnt’ understand is that he’ll actually be feeding it. And if he succeeds in our capture we will become keys to a far greater hell than is already inevitable. His puerile Prussian mind has completely missed the obvious tell. If those in his order that he fears are now backing his efforts towards our destruction shouldn’t that raise a red flag?”

I didn’t know what to say.

“I tell you man. I tell you that I saw them and they communicated. They painted so many scenes in my mind. I am awake. I do not fancy it. I am awake in a way that wasn’t meant for the sort of engine that a mortal brain possesses.”

“HEY WAKE UP!”

I was again confused. “But I’m already awake talking to you..” I said as I felt a weight on my shoulder.

“Baird wake the fuck up. Nap time is over.” Schmidt said letting the full weight of my rucksack come to rest on my chest.


Full Text

~

Previous Chapter


The Sketch of Sam Monroe is a weird fiction thriller. Follow the adventures of five quirky Black Ops pharmacologists as they globetrot their way to the Mato Grosso jungles. Philosophy, psychedelics, and banter are infused throughout this literary comic-book.


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Is it Easier? (Vlog)

 

There’s a difference between production and creativity.

The tactile inspiration of a rotary phone, the subtle suggestions of mechanical motion, are these the origins of creativity.

Was creativity easier for Blixa Bargeld in the 80’s?

Or is creativity easier for all of us today?


Blixa Bargeld


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Sensationalism Buries Flint and Hampers Environmentalism (Vlog)

 

 


Zoologists and climatologists have challenged the narrative portrayed by the new Netflix documentary ‘Our Planet.’

This documentary tied walruses jumping to their deaths to global warming without giving due consideration to alternative explanations. This very much seems to be a case of sensationalism.

A sensationalism that is holding back environmental progress in the name of environmentalism. These sorts of things hog the spotlight and bury other real pressing issues.


Tim’s Video

 


The Jimmy Dore Show


Alex Prud’ Homme’s Book


Music Credit (Free Domain) https://archive.org/details/free-music-for-commercial-use


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One Oh One (Poem)

Image result for finland thaw


Drums cascade

Tumbling over

Heartbeats made

Tumbling over

Driving shade

Never lower

Now staccato

Effervescing

Now Legato

Subtle dressing

As field

In bloom

As shield

Embracing gloom

Rhythm

All elemental

Natural logarithm

Living fall

Expressing

Thunder sun

Striking dust

One Oh

One


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Is Now The Best Time To Be A Writer

Image result for typewriter

The modern day certainly isn’t romantic. You need time for romance. And the modern day is all about instant access.  So, it’s no surprise that sepia hued conceptions of lone desks in sparse rooms reeking of whiskey jar with reality. And this jarring leads some would be writers to whiskey without the licence of having written like Bukowski.

You may not dig Bukoswski. You may think my depression era vision of artistic struggle is cheesy (Confession: It is but cheese is yummy). But the fact that many feel that today’s over saturated market, desensitized readers, and short attention spans spell doom for spelling out literary vistas is undeniable.

The aforementioned factors are certainly there. Even though some may question the degree to which they’re present. They are there.

What does oversaturation imply? It implies a flooded market. What’s so bad about a flooded market? Well, aside from the obvious increased difficulty in getting traditionally published there’s the accompanying lack of funds due to a lethal combination of stiff competition and sheer static.

But, was it any better for Bukowski or Poe? I don’t think so. There’s probably a good reason both men were notorious alcoholics. A bohemian paradise isn’t one. Poe was writing at a time when literacy still played second fiddle to operating a plow. His market was small.

What’s worse a big market with lots of noise and asskickers or a small market full of aristocrats? I really don’t know.

I know that in Bukowskis day even though literacy had improved it still played second fiddle to assembling widgets at GM.  Also, no one had time for reading.

That’s my first set of reasons for the firm belief that today might be the best time to be a writer. Because, despite all the hot air about overstuffed schedules readers have more time than ever. As do writers.

So, we have unprecedented levels of literacy and people who have time to watch the Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead while checking in on the Packers game.

Yes, but all these things are numerical…qunatative. It doesn’t matter if there’s more potential readers if there’s no engagement. People who are distracted by Game of Thrones and top ten lists won’t be reading very deeply if reading at all.

This may well be the lament of those who wish to view the past in roseate hues. But, the truth as far as I can see it is that these shallow consumers have a shadowside. Lots of folks, many of whom are in places like WordPress, are fed up with reboots. They make the exact sort of complaints that writers make. They’re hungry for deep engaging content. And seeing as they’ve had the whole worlds literary cannon at their fingertips are well equipped to engaged with said content.

Traditional publication and revenue may be difficult and it was always difficult. In fact I think that better informed folks might be able to argue that making money as a writer was even more difficult in Bukowskis day.

Yes, it may have been more difficult and it may still be difficult but there are many more tools. And one big difficulty is easily taken out of the equation. Writers as far as I can tell – want to be read.  Due to technology and sites like WordPress this has never been easier.

This is a wonderful tool because it provides the invaluable insight of feedback. And there are many tools at the writers disposal. There are instant translators, internet dictionaries, just insane amounts of information about any given topic. Not only that but there are countless tools for organizing that information, for formatting, spell-checking, and editing your work.

I still flirt with the idea of the sparse room with the weathered keyboard. I flirt with it cause it’s sexy and it’s fun. But this little idealization of where real work and real writers happen is like most idealisations mere whimsy.

I’d conclude with something more concrete but I have to make my second cup of coffee before my shift starts.

Thanks for reading and don’t let the idea of being a ‘blogger’ keep you from writing.


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One More and One Less

Image result for office chairGrim reaper thinks candy is gross

 

In any case the TL; DR version of this is every time you sit down to write or learn; you’re not only doing it one more time but also one less. Cause the Grim Reaper is standing right there, playing Yo-Yo, and sometimes he gets real impatient and chokes you with the string.

Recently. Just today in fact. I’ve had to process mortality.

Again.

Fun stuff.

I’m not really emotional about anything. I honestly feel rather clinical. So clinical as to be a bit perturbed. Which is why I mentioned to a friend that some people may find my nonreactivness to be cold and off putting. Or maybe the fact that I don’t really grieve long enough. Whatever long enough is.

I guess what I imagine bothers people is I take death in stride. A fact I attribute to having lost my father at five years of age. I guess I’m bothered by it too since I feel that I should feel something. I do sometimes. But not enough apparently. Maybe.

Anyhow, that’s not what the story is about but rather a framing device or maybe somewhat more precisely – something that helps me take disparate thoughts and tie them up with a bow thus rendering it intelligible as a gift.

Currently, I’m studying the Web Stack (JS, PHP included) as well as Java it’s something I’m doing in a roundabout way. Very roundabout. I started poking at Java in 2008.

My dog has cancer. He didn’t show any behavioral signs at all. At least none that would suggest a grapefruit sized tumor. He did have some weird-looking growths that I didn’t really take note of because they were round his nethers. I thought they were just a skin irritation. And due to the location and my schedule I’d often forget about them.  Until they started to bleed. It’s not necessarily unsalvagable but it’s not especially promising since Brownie is old.

So as I’m sitting here looking at arrays, pointers, objects, etc I’m thinking what if I have cancer? How long have I been putzing around with these basic bitch concepts. And why?

Well, if I do have or get cancer or get hit my a car, or assaulted by a gang of enraged hipsters for dissing Ruby…meh so what…whatver will be will be…serah serah…etc.

As to why? Cause it’s fun and I’m doing it primarily to sharpen my attention and logic faculties and most career aspirations are somewhat on the back-burner. Except using my skills to make TFJ less shit.

In any case the TL; DR version of this is every time you sit down to write or learn you’re not only doing one more time but also one less. Cause the grim reapers standing right there playing Yo-Yo and sometimes he gets real impatient and chokes you with the string.

So pet it while it’s alive and code it before the arthritis sets in.


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