Dudebro Six Figs – The New Approach to Writing

Image result for shitty startup


The pines creaked and swayed. Cold settled like a chill blanket as the sun slowly sank.

If I followed the advice I’ve found in some writers guides I’d have never arranged words in that particular order. Those sentences wouldn’t exist.

Description is gauche you see. Everyone has talked about sunsets and the advent of evening so no one will ever enjoy reading about them again.

Don’t set up background for your stories. Especially if you use pesky polysyllabic words in those backgrounds. What are you some kind of writer?

I bet you used a thesaurus to look up those community college words. Nobody uses those words.

You gotta be conversational.

You’re distracting from the pacing.

Jesus Christ. Given the prevalence of these Formica table board room strategies at Wanker Startup Ltd. it’s a wonder anyone bothers to write anything at all.

You think the last sentence was wobbly. Good. That’s the point. Not everything has to be tailored to the ear of an idiot. In ancient Greece idiot meant a person who was not involved in city politics i.e. someone who was unaware of things that affected him.

I’m not saying that if you didn’t understand that by ‘Wanker Startup Ltd.’ I was referring to the trendy ‘everything is business and we’re all savvy entrepreneurs’ culture that’s sprung up in every facet of life in recent years – that this means you’re an idiot. What I’m saying is that the risk of being misunderstood is no cause for weird minimalistic corporate gibberish focusing on core competency of making everything a sitcom.

You see, it’s fine to miss the point that ‘Formica table’ is actually a modifier for ‘strategies,’ calling them cheap. It might mean nothing to you on a first reading. Later on it might mean a lot. Or not. There are other readers who may enjoy it. Or not. The point is the sentence has a right to exist in all its wobbly glory.

I often hear everyone and their dog complaining about the lack of original content and constant reruns. Well, what do you expect when writers and actors are all designed at corporate?

* AFAIK – Dudebro Sixfigs may have been coined by Aaron Clarey of ‘Asshole Consulting’

* Using the random image I found on my search for shitty startup/boardroom isn’t meant to poke fun at the guy in the photo. It was just too perfect of an amalgamation of certain trendy philosophies and styles that are in vogue.


Email | mellow.mission.productions@gmail.com

Minds | http://www.minds.com/Weirmellow

SubscribeStar |(Under Construction) http://www.subscribestar.com/TFJ


Support the Journal

Make a donation via PayPal to help zazz things up.

$1.00


Not Just Zazz…but Pizzazz

Too high class for regular Zazz? Help Pizzaz up TFJ!

$5.00

French Words

ashes


“What’s the use of passion?”

“That’s not my forte in the first place.”

“Oh, I like that word forte…it sounds French.”

“Probably.”

“Do you know any more French words?”

“Sure.”

“Like what?”

“Blasé.”

“O that one’s nice. What’s it mean?”

“It’s the face you’re trying to put on now.”

“How do you mean…?”

“You’re trying to do that ‘seen it all’ face.”

“Is it working?”

“Nah.”

“But I really feel like I’ve seen it all. So what is the use of passion. You’re just goin’ to crumble to dust anyway…”

“What’s so bad about crumbling into dust?”

“It’s just so sad…”

“Sad? I find it rather grand. I intend to crumble with gusto!”

“Now who’s tryin’ to be blasé?”

“Well for one I’m not trying cause blasé is my forte.”

“O that rhymed!”

“See that’s the attitude that makes the ‘seen it all face’ look really daffy on you.”

“O well your rhyme is stupid then. And you have a big nose.”

“Yes, I’m a Cyrano a fact so plain as to illicit ennui.”

“O that’s a fresh one…ENNUI! And is Cyrano a type of kimono?”

“What’s in your wine?”

“Umm…wine I think.”

“Yeah, and what happens to that wine?”

“Well, I drink it and it tastes good.”

“Yeah, and after that…”

“Well..um…I …I don’t want to say.”

“Come on everybody does it.”

“Fine…I guess I..I go to the bathroom.”

“Does that make you sad?”

“Huh?”

“Does it make you question the use of wine?”

“Well, no but…huh…I don’t get what you’re trying to say.”

“Life is piss. And its release is bliss!”

“Well at least it rhymed.”


Email | mellow.mission.productions@gmail.com

Minds | http://www.minds.com/Weirmellow

SubscribeStar | (Under Construction) http://www.subscribestar.com/TFJ


 

Support the Journal

Make a donation via PayPal to help zazz things up.

$1.00


 

Not Just Zazz…but Pizzazz

Too high class for regular Zazz? Help Pizzaz up TFJ!

$5.00

Disorganization and Tree Update


Keeping up with papers isn’t one of my skills but fortunately some of my trees are sprouting leaves.


Music I Used

Freedom Theme I and II – Rocco John – Internet Archive – Free Domain

Leaving Ship – Ocean Piano – Internet Archive – Free Domain

https://archive.org/details/free-music-for-commercial-use

The Sketch of Sam Monroe – Chapter 8.8 – Elect, Element, Eloquent, Eligible, Electrons

Image result for elohim

~

The adventure continues!

Full Text

~

Previous Chapter


The Sketch of Sam Monroe is a weird fiction thriller. Follow the adventures of five quirky Black Ops pharmacologists as they globetrot their way to the Mato Grosso jungles. Philosophy, psychedelics, and banter are infused throughout this literary comic-book.


“There he goes again.” Schmidt whispered from the adjacent hammock.

“Yep.” I replied as we watched Hoyt gingerly unfasten the velcro and disappear through the tent-flap.

“He thinks he’s sly.”

“Well, isn’t he? I mean how many of those Saturn cultists has he slain?”

“My question is why do they keep wasting soldiers?”

“Yeah…it’s real fucking odd…I haven’t heard a bird…or seen anything on radar. No word from Thornton or the donut dippers either.”

“I mean we don’t even know if they’re after us or Z or what…he kills them before they get within a half mile.”

“And nobody does anything about it.”

“Well, what are we supposed to do?”

Lucas shrugged.

“You know.” I said. “A thought just occurred to me…”

“You remember the yokel that broke into our lodge?”

Schmidt was silent for a bit and then chuckled. “Yea, the big ginger dufus…what was his name…uh…Jesse.”

“Yeah.”

“You remember the story he told us?”

“Shit..that’s goin back a ways…lotsa shits happened but uh yea I guess vaguely…I think he said somethin about guys in polos.”

“Yeah, that was in his explanation of how he trekked through sixty miles of Kentucky forest to get to Luckadoos. In his story the polo guys were working with some kinda lizard men.”

“You buy that shit?”

“At this point I’ll buy just about anything. But really the weirder stuff from his story is beside the point. The point being that there was something real fucking unnatural about the amount of time it took him to get from Foley to the lodge. It involved those business casual assholes and then we were attacked.”

“I mean yea…that is what happened as far as I remember…so?”

“What if they’re the same guys Hoyt is hunting?”

“I dunno why they would be. These lemmings are all normal size. I swear that fucker who dislocated your ribs was well over 6′ 8″.”

“I know. But think about the other similarities.”

All I heard for the next half-minute was jungle and snoring.

“I’m drawin a blank.”

“Well, the thing of it is that in both situations people popped up out of nowhere.”

Schmidt laughed.

“You suggesting a teleporter? Well, beam me up Scotty!”

“Shit…maybe…”

“You’re serious?”

“I dunno..but I’ll tell you what…I rember that kids description pretty vividly cause I had to coax it outta him…and it sure sounded like there was some sort of physical disruption..I think he even used the word ‘oscillator.’ What kind of backwoods duckhunter talks about oscillators?”

“Well he was a deacons kid, I think…right?”

“Still though…oscillator?”

“Deacons can be physicsts.”

“In Foley fucking Kentucky?”

Schmidt sighed. “A fuckin’ teleporter Baird….”

“I didn’t say teleporter ya daffy cunt.”

“Well, then what the fuck man…I know I’m sleepy are you sure you’re not just pullin shit out your ass cause you’re delirious too?”

“Look, tripping on DMT is part of our job. So you’re aware of the elves?”

“Sure, but dream states and shit that simulates dream states is likely to illicit similar things. It’s Jungian archetypes like serpents that have to do with primitive shape and pattern responses. I think one theory Thornton showed us was that the elves are a combination of youth and age. They are small and child like but wise and sometimes bearded like the aged a perfect overlay for our instinctual simultaneous dread and love regarding birth and death.”

‘Fucking Germans…autistic godamn cocksucker….’

Yeah..I don’t care...what does the word elves start with?”

“E.”

‘For fucks sake pull the kraut out of your ears.’

“Yes, E, and then l…EL!”

“So…”

“What did Hoyt tell us this afternoon?”

“He told us a lot…that was actually the most I’ve heard him talk since his freakout back at the lodge.”

“Right, but specifically when he was talking about God.”

“Again he said a lot.”

“Ok…names of God…”

“Uh….Jesus…Yahweh….um…KAHN!”

I sighed. “Baruch, Elohim, Adonai.”

“Mm..ok…”

“What does Elohim start with.”

“E!” Lucas cried. “….just kidding man…EL so where are you going with this EL business?”

“Elect, element, eligible, eloquent, and electrons…all these fancy words for fancy things both basic and complex begin with EL.”

“So that’s where my hash went…”

“I’m serious. You don’t remember when Ant went on that Jordan Maxwell kick?”

“Oh! Ok, well shit…do I ever. I think I get where you’re coming from now…but I mean…Jesus Baird…that’s some nutty stuff.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit patched together but I think the old boffin was feeling his way around something real.”

“Yeah, I remember about Elohim now….Maxwell claimed it was plural but it’s not really plural in the same way the trinity isn’t really plural. Plurality of force doesn’t necessitate plurality of persons. Just like we have arms, legs, and hands with different function or forces.”

‘Jesus…the lectures…about shit I already know…Rhinelander

“Anyhow Maxwell also went on and on about Saturn in one of the lectures Ant shared with me. That and his fixation with El, Hoyt mentioning Elohim, the fact that folk are popping up out of nowhere, and the loose association of being tired…makes me think of Electrons and like you said plurality of forces.”

“Holy word salad batman…WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.” He whisper shouted.

“Jesse talked about how everything kinda went into a negative state, and the world got distorted, right before he passed out and woke up nosing round our lodge…if I’m recalling correctly.”

“Ok…”

“I also remember the recording of Hoyt’s uncle and his little seance at Cambridge…he mentioned the El…he mentioned them in context with Set who affixes spirit into matter.”

“I really don’t follow.”

“It’s ok I really don’t either but I know I’m right near the answer as to how these Saturn assholes keep popping up…they’re trying to play God again…like those guys at the bottom of that cenote were.”


Email | mellow.mission.productions@gmail.com

Minds | http://www.minds.com/Weirmellow

SubscribeStar | (Under Construction) http://www.subsribestar.com/TFJ


Support the Journal

Make a donation via PayPal to help zazz things up.

$1.00


Not Just Zazz…but Pizzazz

Too high class for regular Zazz? Help Pizzaz up TFJ!

$5.00

Sargon of Akkad is a Bugeyed Boy Scout Loon – Ideology kills Nuance – Envirofail


By viewing this discussion via the lens of individualism vs collectivism Sargon has missed some key points. It, i.e ideological lenses and pathos are perennial problems with being a pundit. I’m not here to berate Karl but rather point out some misconceptions he’s allowed to seep in to his argument.


Sargon’s Video


Info I Used

https://sciencing.com/co2-deplete-ozone-layer-4828.html

https://hub.globalccsinstitute.com/publications/what-happens-when-co2-stored-underground-qa-ieaghg-weyburn-midale-co2-monitoring-and-storage-project/1-what-carbon-dioxide-co2


Music I Used (Public Domain) 

https://archive.org/details/WhiteMarket20170101Session320


Email | mellow.mission.productions@gmail.com

Minds | http://www.minds.com/Weirmellow

SubscribeStar | http://www.subscribestar.com/TFJ


Support the Journal

Make a donation via PayPal to help zazz things up.

$1.00


Not Just Zazz…but Pizzazz

Too high class for regular Zazz? Help Pizzaz up TFJ!

$5.00

Noble Order of Asshole Knights – Join or Serve!


So, I was practicing violin (poorly) from a Mel Bay book I picked up. One of the songs is Gavotte by some fop named Praetorius. Being that I’m about as naturally musical as a coked up bobcat trapped in well full of nettles I needed to hear the bloody thing.

Lo! What wonderfully snooty shit this be.

Here’s what comes to mind from the thumbnail:

Behold wench! Yonder peasant falling!

Ho!

What luck to have witnessed his falstaff frame thusly collapse!

Yay tis good to be rich! 

Soothe, thou may grab me by the feline!

Say what you will about these fops but at least they had style. If my grandmother is to be believed I have some kind of count in my lineage. But he would have been Polish or Ukrainian or something. So it doesn’t count. =) I’m so fucking clever.

Nonetheless, I’m bringing back feudalism! With the current disparity between rich and poor we’re already there! Why not add some style to the mix.

So what is your choice?! Will you ride forth as part of my Noble Order of Asshole Knights? Or be oppressed most elegantly!

Image result for douchebag knights
Thy Gallant Lords!

I know you yups pay to pick strawberries but won’t actually have your kids do it as a job. Well, I’m here to help.

Being a lettered man and a patron of the symphonies it is my sacred duty to tie you back to the land!

No longer will you wish for agrarian bliss. No longer will you pine!

Your toil will sustain high culture, institutions of learning that will once more take more than a pulse to enter, and wars we won’t lie about.

As Noble Asshole Knights we don’t spread freedom to gain oil. We just take land cause it’s there and we’re probably better stewards than those hippies anyway. Plus its great fun to smack your neighbor!

Yes! Under the Noble Order of Asshole Knights the stars will shine brighter, and your beer will taste better, for you will have worked inordinately hard to sustain douchebags as is the lot of man!

BaronVonDouchebag Esquire III
Baron Von Douchebag ESQ III Pictured in traditional Cheeki Breeki Royal Besocks

Apply Today |mellow.mission.productions@gmail.com

Marching Orders | http://www.minds.com/Weirmellow

Ye Royal Coffers | http://www.subscribestar.com/TFJ


 

 

Support the Journal

Make a donation via PayPal to help zazz things up.

$1.00


 

 

Not Just Zazz…but Pizzazz

Too high class for regular Zazz? Help Pizzaz up TFJ!

$5.00

Speaking Greek (Poem)

 

Wood paneling, heavy box TVs that look like a piece of ...

Garden walls

Blooming wells

Dancing halls

Myriad hells

Gaffes on Dreher

Dead eyed stare

The sorts that disappear

Static glare

Woodpanneled and antique

You look pretty on the stair

I may as well be speaking Greek

Yea, I live there

Selling metros to the dealer

Beneath my hair

Time is the healer

I can spell it out

So I do

Though I’d rather shout

As we disintegrate from view


Email | mellow.mission.productions@gmail.com

Minds | http://www.minds.com/Weirmellow

SubscribeStar | (Under Construction)  https://www.subscribestar.com/TFJ


Support the Journal

Make a donation via PayPal to help zazz things up.

$1.00


Not Just Zazz…but Pizzazz

Too high class for regular Zazz? Help Pizzaz up TFJ!

$5.00

Look Out Boss! It’s the Bots!

 

 

 

 

 

 


The closing paragraphs of ‘The New Yorker article, ‘Machine Hands’ (John Seabrook), contain this little nugget:

“It’s also possible that this second wave of A.I.-based mechanization will automate the farmer’s job long before it removes the need for hired labor. In the indoor farms I visited, the brain work of farming-when to plant, irrigate, fertilize, and harvest-has been automated, but not the grunt work.”

This is something I’ve long suspected and have recently blogged about:

“I dunno how well versed these journalists and talking heads are in robotics but the level of sophistication required for a machine to load a UPS truck or do road work is insane. Fine motor function is a tricky business.” (Everyone should Code?)

While I hate to play Freud I think this all has to do with libido. The folks proposing a labor apocalypse delivered on the chrome horse of automation might know a bit of Java. They’re ‘men of letters’, socially savvy (read manipulative), and pathologically concerned about abstract futures.

It’s sexy to worry about the peasants not being able to keep up with your ability to write a Vox article.

But perhaps the effete should be worried about themselves.

Not about being accidentally racist, or sexist, or spilling their lattes on the latest issue of Entrepreneur.

They should be worried about their jobs.

Honestly, it should have been obvious from the start. Which tasks lend themselves to mechanization?

“The repetitive ones that those sweaty truckers and stockers do! You know the kinds done by people who make boner jokes. O shit is that the HR lady…I was using boner to describe how the lower classes talk…”

No, my precious orchid.

The sorts of jobs that lend themselves to automation are computational. They’re things with decision trees that don’t require the trees to sprout hands. In a nutshell: brain work.

Stuff that requires the fast and accurate scanning of vast reams of data, the analysis of that data, and a decision. Sure, QuickBooks hasn’t made accountants obsolete. It has however necessitated a bit of scurrying:

“Technology is rapidly reshaping the accounting industry, making certain skills and knowledge obsolete but at the same time creating opportunities for accountants to offer new services in the marketplace. For future accounting leaders, perhaps the biggest determinant of success is staying ahead of the technology curve so new innovations enhance one’s business, not replace it.” (https://quickbooks.intuit.com/ca/resources/pro-taxes/new-skill-sets-future-accounting-leaders/)

This suggests that it’s not truckers that will be thinner on the ground but research assistants, HR people, and stockbrokers.

Basically people who have to repetitively dig through data and perform basic logic. Things that a robot (computer) can do much better faster and cheaper than it can pick a strawberry.

This article isn’t here to gloat about folks losing their jobs. It’s here to point out that we need to think more deeply about what we value as a society. About what brings purpose to people’s lives.

Why haven’t we seen Glenn Gould in decades?

The answer is people define themselves through their jobs. Their self-worth is wrapped up in the ability to do work that’s more sophisticated and important than the schmuck in the truck (hence student loan crisis). Society values an insane mechanized orgy of buying and selling where Universities serve as bargaining chips rather than bastions of cultivation.

All the while engaging in self-congratulatory pity for the class of people who can actually change the oil.

Whoda thunk that the finesse of picking a strawberry just right is akin to the finesse of sawing a violin bow on a string? Whoda thunk that boolean operators handled statistics better than a hungover analyst?

Automation is inevitable. Let’s not let class pretensions blind us to where it’s most likely to happen. Now that we are getting a grasp on how to feed, clothe, sanitize, and house our teeming billions maybe we can start getting pre-industrial.

No, I don’t mean going Amish. I mean a return to craftsman culture. The sort of attention to detail, originality, and quality that flourished in Benjamin Franklin’s day. The sorts of activities that enrich lives and communities while being fulfilling in a specifically human way.

This isn’t writing code, or optimizing SEO, it’s the manipulation of matter. Manipulation – manus – doing it by hand. Hands honed by experience and guided by well-trained human minds and well trained human hearts.

The future is ‘The Goldberg Variations.’


 

 


Email | mellow.mission.productions@gmail.com

Minds | http://www.minds.com/Weirmellow

SubscribeStar | (Under Construction) https://www.subscribestar.com/TFJ


 

 

 

 

 

 

Support the Journal

Make a donation via PayPal to help zazz things up.

$1.00


 

 

 

 

 

 

Not Just Zazz…but Pizzazz

Too high class for regular Zazz? Help Pizzaz up TFJ!

$5.00

That Grand Success


Musings on a goofy word.

Life is not a journey.

Etc.


Email | mellow.mission.productions@gmail.com

Minds | http://www.minds.com/Weirmellow

SubsribeStar (Awaiting Review/Coming Soon) | https://www.subscribestar.com/TFJ


Support the Journal

Make a donation via PayPal to help zazz things up.

$1.00


Not Just Zazz…but Pizzazz

Too high class for regular Zazz? Help Pizzaz up TFJ!

$5.00